Angkasa 1

Two of my close buddies have been blogging about BolehLand’s first Astronaut and I couldn’t resist writing down my thoughts about our sohai in space as well.

Is it so damn bloody important to send a citizen of BolehLand to space? ( important for their ego maybe but the whole damn world doesn’t give a flying F ). What are they hoping to accomplish by doing that? So what if the whole freaking world knows that we have sent a sohai to space…SO WHAT?

Can we eradicate poverty and starvation? Nope…don’t think so. Kaninabeh, the moolah spent to send the sohai to space could be put to better use la….

It could be used for education, used to feed the poor, used to build low cost accommodation, mahai…anything but to send some sohai into space ma. It can even be used to procure the services of prostitutes for the whole freaking “G” men for all I care…ANYTHING but to send a sohai into space.

Astro has even jumped onto the sohai bandwagon by dedicating a channel for the sohai…Channel 588 ( if I am not mistaken ) and stooopidly named “Angkasa 1” ( fuck me dead ). The powers that be are off their rockers if they think I will spend 1 single second watching the egoistic bastard’s face on TV. I rather spend my time knitting or doing crochet than to hear him talk to our biggest sohai the PM.

Come on la BolehLand….you guys can do better la. Use your fucking brains properly just once in your miserable life will suffice. You guys know what the biggest sohai suggested that our sohai in space do when he is up there? PLAY THE GASING ( TOP )….tiuheikamachauhai!!!!! play gasing for what? Its better that the sohai masturbate on live cam ma….that way, we can be assured that half of the world population can relate to that…..play gasing my arse! but then again, his dick might not erect

I wish they would leave the sohai up in space when the time comes. Leave him there so that the sohais will send sohais to rescue the sohai…..bunch of stoooopid fucks!

A SMALL STEP FOR A SOHAI BUT A SMALLER STEP BACKWARDS FOR ALL SOHAIS in question.

Astronaut woooh....AstroNUT is more like it!!


2 every1 his/her OWN………………

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Wanna Get Rich Quick?

Received this exciting offer to get rich via email today. Busy as I was, I couldn't help but to post a reply towards the enticement.....

Offer is as below:

Big international commercial organization is looking for talented, honest,reliable representatives from different regions. The ideal candidate will be an intelligent person,someone who can work autonomously with a high degree of enthusiasm.

We are looking for highly motivated professionals, with experience in marketing field. The position is home-based. We offer a part-time position with flexible working hours and we would be happy to consider a full-time job share candidate.

Our Company offers a very competitive salary to the successful candidate,along with an unrivalled career progression opportunity.

If you think you have what it takes to take on this challengeand would like to apply please send the following information to: StuartMoranLP@gmail.com
1) Full name
2) Contact phone numbers
3) Part time job/Full time

You do not need to invest any sum of money and we do not ask you to provide us with your bank account requisites! We are engaged in completely legal activity. The preference is given to employees with knowledge of foreign languages.

Thank you and we are looking forward to cooperate in long term base with you. If you received this message in error, or would like to unsubscribe, please send a blank email to: GeraldZamoraOS@gmail.com


My reply is as follows ( i emailed him and posted the reply in my blog ):

Dear Gerald Zamora,

I thank you from the bottom of my arse for extending to me such an eye opening offer. Where can one still find a zero investment coupled with rags to riches return....fuuuyoooh!

Sad to say that I cannot take up your offer because of reasons as stated below:
1) I have a high deegree of enthusiasm ( as stated in your criteria ) but its in the field of bitch slapping arseholes with the initials G.Z.
2) I have not been in the Marketing line for umpteen years and have no plans to be back unless you feel like offering me your arse to see if my 40,000 tons machinery fits.
3) Home based? the presented offer sounds like selling ones arse....enthusiasm la, marketing la, high returns la, home based la....you sure you are not a pimp ar?
4) Please ask your friends if they can translate this foreign language....."TIUNYAMAKAHAI" got it? I will say it slowly for the second time round....its TIU...NYA...MA...KA...HAI...got it? gooooood.

Inserted below are my contact and details for you records....

Fullname: StuckAfingerInyourMothersaArseAndcouldntPullItOut
Contact Numbers: my country has one hell of a phone number system but you can key it it alphabetically...its....GOFUCKYOURSELF
Part/Full Time job: Screwing all the woman in your life.

Thank you for taking the time to read my email but its ok if you choose not to reply...I understand that a con jobber like you has a lot of emails to send. Here's wishing that you accidentally sit on your gear shift ( hope you're driving an auto tran car with hugh gear knobs )

*******End of Email********

I know that it will not do any good to write the email but what the hell...it made my day...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2 every1 his/her OWN.....................

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Malaysians Boleh!

Let's start with some simple calculations. In Malaysia, the average family income is RM3,000 /month (where father works, mother doesn't).

I understand there are many families whose monthly income does not reach RM3,000, but, to make things simple, let's take RM3,000 as the figure....can lah right?

Okay, let's start rolling with a family which has Papa, Mama, 1 daughter and 1 son. Ngam-ngam .... Calculation starts...

Electricity and water bill: RM100 (No air-con, No home theatre, No water heater ... ok?)

Phone bill ( Telekom): RM100

Meals for a happy family: RM775 (3 meals on RM25/day, RM25 for 4 persons...?)

Papa makan/teh-tarik during working hrs: RM155 (RM5/day, RM5 ... can eat what?)

Car repayment: RM400 (A freaking junk on 7 - 9 years repayment period)

Petrol (living in city, traffic-jam): RM300 (go to work, bring son to school, only can afford one
car running...fucking conservative figure)

Insurance: RM650 (God knows why people buy)

House repayment: RM750 (low cost housing repayment for 30 yrs, retired still have to sell arse to pay...fulat!)

Tuition: RM80 (got that cheap meh? i don't think so)

Older children pocket money @ school: RM20 (RM1/day, apa boleh buat...makan roti loh)

School fees: RM30(enough ah?)

Misc expenditure for school : RM100 (schools always have something going on....some donation shit or some charity drive to raise funds )

Younger children milk powder: RM50 (cannot have the DHA, BHA, PHA one, expensive ma)

Miscellaneous: RM100 (shampoo, rice, sauce, toilet paper and lucky I botak so can save on hair cut...ptui!!!!)

Oh wait!!! I have to stop here or someone will have to start selling their arse to get more money............So, if based on the above calculation, most will have...........
No Astro,
no movie @ cinema,
no DVD, no CD,
no online,
cannot eat KFC ( can smell only ),
cannot McDonald ( can smell only )....etc.

Let's use a calculator to total up... WALAO EH! Shit! RM3,610 already ar? FULAT!...EPF belum potong, income tax belum potong........oledi RM3,610 ...and I didn't fucking factor in the freaking Samy Toll Rates yet.......

How to survive lah???

Our Goverment still has the fucking cheek to ask us to change our lifestyle? How to change? Don't eat? Don't work? Don't shit? Don't send children to school and study?

I also believe that the average income of most Malaysian won't even touch RM 3,000 per month ( with both partners working!! )

What the fuck is this laaaa?

Is this what we call Malaysia Boleh... Sorry..... it should be Malaysians Boleh, simply for the fucking fact that we're still alive and kicking in Bolehland............

And the best joke is that the powers that be is trying their level best to revert us back to Agricultural status....WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! I feel sorry for the S.O.B's in power.....bunch of Sohai(s).....

Like they say in Rome... "We Who Are About To Die.....SALUTE YOU ( with my middle finger )".....

No wonder the banks are acting like Ah Loongs nowadays......so easy to give out loans ( just sell your freaking arse only ma )...tiu!

2 every1 his/her OWN..........................

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