WHAT IRRITATES????

Been a while since my last post as was quite busy with my last job posting ( pls excuse the lame joke ) to Sudan. Neway, it's good to be back and am still trying to shake off the dreaded writers block.

Since the beginning of my time ( 30 odd years ), I have found that certain things really irritates and irks me off and its my pleasure to share it with you guys.....

Dribblers / Dribbling :-
Ever been in a situation where you go into a public/office toilet....head for the preferred urinal bowl....and ALAKAZAM! you see puddles of dribbles of some arsehole's urine on the floor....just exactly where you were going to adapt your pissing stance! WTF? don't dribblers know that they are not endowed with such long dicks as they think they might have? OR they have a dick with 3 holes....one for shooting in front and the other two for shooting left and right. HEY! aim and shoot straight for God's sake. Pity the cleaner who has to clean up after them....how I wish those dribblers get the same medicine. I also pity those mothers who has a dribbling son.....she has to clean up each and every time the bastard goes to toilet....maaaaan!

Wavey hands :-
That term is used for people who like to wave their hands just to let others know of their dislikes. This wavey hand thingy is best seen during a presence of a smoker ( I myself smoke ). Light up and they will start to put on their sorry looking fucked up faces, start waving their hands left to right as if to clear the air of some imaginary smoke thats choking them. Hey, WHAT THE FUCK! 100% of the smoking population out there knows that smoking will kill them someday dude....SO DOES BREATHING IN CARBON MONOXIDE smart ass! for those wavey hands S.O.B.s out there, Carbon Monoxide is the no odour gas that you guys are breathing in thru your fucking noses every fucking day! and its emitted by the burning of gasoline/petrol/diesel/petrol....u wavey hands know what that means? that means to stop Carbon Monoxide poisoining and to make you motherfuckers live longer, we have to stop using our vehicles, planes, tanks, your mother's car and everything thats using gasoline/petrol/diesel/benzine. My advice to those wavey hands is...please go fuck your own mother/father for starting up their cars in the morning before showing the world that you are choking because of some so called 2nd hand smoke. Yes, no doubt that 2nd hand smoke will kill you ( I do not deny that fact ) but so does every other fucking gas that you are breathing thru your nose...or do the wavey hands breath thru their arse? 100% of the population is health consious nowadays...not just the wavey hands...so just FUCK OFF the next time you see people lighting up OR just stick a fucking Tampon up your fucking nose. Just to let you guys in on a secret k? you know what I will do if I see a wavey hands near me when I light up? I will purposely exhale smoke so that they get a whiff of it. won't do it if they start don't waving their hands...no waving of hands...no exhaling of smoke in their direction...hey, I am a considerate bugger too...very fucking proud to say that my mum taught me well ( except for the smoking part ). So, fuck off far, far, far away wavey hands...go wave your hands at your own ass for all we smokers care....and don't ever fucking wave your freaking hands at me.....see u in HELL!

Names :-
Whats in a name? PLENTY I must say! Your name is you, your personality, your character, your goodname and your reputation. Spoil a bowl of broth is ok but if you spoil your name then you're fucked big time!

Ever came across some buggers with weird names? e.g. Kinky, Horny and such? I saw an ad the other day posted at one of those stalls you see at the supermarket, it reads " Sales Assistant Wanted. Please call Kinky Chong at 01x-xxxxxxx"...HAHAHAHAHA! Kinky? I know that his/her mother got Kinky before they got him...I was laughing my head off and my wife was also laughing along with me. Hey, to have a unique name is ok but not downright weird and obsene. I have an aquaintance who named his daughter "Khatulistiwa" ( Equator ) ...HAHAHAHA..WTF? Equator? why? He wants his daughter to grow up to be "Hot" is it? You can also find lots of funny, weird and foolish names at the Hong Kong Film Star directory....names like Kinky, Rain, Sky, Fish will all appear....by the way, Fish Leong is a Malaysian singer..FISH? HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! what kind...puffer fish? blow fish? well she is welcome to give me a good blow if she wants to.

I can list and list the things that I consider irritating but it will take up too much e-space. Please feel free to insert your comments on the things that ticks you off dudes and dudettes.

2every1 his/her own!!!!

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WANT A RAISE?

It's that time of year again....time of good tidings, drinking, partying, bonuses and with the hope of a good raise from our bosses. Below is an excellent example of what NOT TO SAY when requesting for a raise from your boss ( it also shows their expected replies ):

Read, learn and enjoy...........

I, the Penis ( meaning you ), hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.


Dear Penis ( thats you ):

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stayin your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management


WTF!!? to every1 his/her own.....have a Super Duper Merry Christmas and a Wonderfully Happy New Year...and may the year 2007 bring everything thats good to you and blah, blah, blah, blah...........

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