Saturday, March 24, 2007

NEVER make a Woman Angry!!

This post is specially dedicated to all the beautiful ladies in my live.........

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven.

While she was waiting for SaintPeter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waitingfor you! Good to see you.

"When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderfulplace! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked. "Love.

"The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven. About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived."I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi ", she replied.

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry...

There will be Hell to pay!

NB: For your info: The longest word currently listed in Oxford dictionary is the supposed lung-disease........pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters!!).

NEVER EVER make a woman angry!

2every1 his/her own..........................

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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Where is the LINE?

Any of you guys/gals remember your past love(s) or is still in contact with them?

I for one have to admit that I am still very, very good friends with my former girlfriend.....very shy to say that I have only one Ex cause after her came my wifey ( Thank You GOD ).

My Ex and I spent 6 good years together...there were the usual ups and downs but all in all it was nice.

There came a time where everything was said telephatically.....then came boredom...then came the break up. Very happy to say that till today we sometimes have lunch or dinner together catching up on each others lives.....the line remains there....NO once more for old times sake after that,k? We just enjoy each others company...hey! no reason to be enemies even if we can't be together right? I always tell her that she will always have a special place in my heart....a fact that she also returns...Thank You SS for being my friend.

Finito about my Ex...let me talk about my admiration for someone I know ( female species ) and is good buddies with....

I admirer her for her courage, her outspokeness, her determination, her character and friendliness ( known as J hereafter ). I told J of my admiration for her as I am not one to keep my feelings pent up inside me.

Told her that I was not going to screw things up by trying to get into her pants because I value her friendship and respect her too much for that. Thankfully she understood what I was trying to say and told me that she felt the same....fhheeeew..what a relief! I enjoy her company, enjoy giving her friendly hugs, enjoy giving her kisses on her cheecks but thats the line as far as I am concerned.

A lot of people told me that there cannot be such things as GOOD FRIENDS among the Male and Female species but I have to seriously rebutt their remarks because everything boils down to you yourself! How you control your emotions and urges is very important. I do admit that I sometimes get hard ons and get the urge to see her naked....thats where the word "Imagination" comes into play....hehehehehe.....I am sure the feelings is mutual after a few glasses. That why I respect and admirer her so much....CONTROL is the word of the day. Neways, I will still continue to admirer her and respect for the person she is.....she will always be my GOOD BUDDY no matter what people say.

I know that I might sound a rascal but for me, its the question of ones principle and believe in life that matters.........

Everyday I Thank the LORD for bringing my wife into my life, for her understanding of my sometimes demanding nature, for giving birth to two beautiful and healthy boys....Thank You Wifey....without her I would not have made it thru difficult and trying times in life and especially my carrier.....and rest assured that I will always come home to sleep beside you and the kids no matter what......

2 every1 his/her own....................

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I always....always have enjoyed listening to jokes and cracking them. Neways, below are some exceptionally witty jokes that I enjoy..have a read and hope it brings laughter to you as it has to me.......

Breast Biting
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts.

He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?"

Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does."Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breastsjust once for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there.

"So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.

As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?""Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..............."

Last Longer
A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.

Finally, he came up with a plan.On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.

He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.

Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."

Situation Beyond Control
There was a church that had a very big-busted organist.

Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, (if you eat them they make you pucker, because they are so sour) and rub them on your breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said:"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday."

How Women Get To Heaven
A small boy walks into his mother's room and catches her topless."Mommy, Mommy, what are those?" he says pointing to her breasts.

"Well, son," she says, These are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven."Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied.

Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen.

"Mommy, mommy, Aunt Eliza is dying!"

"What do you mean?" says his mother.

"Well she's out in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both of her balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling,"God, I'm coming! God, I'm coming!"

2 every1 his/her own.........................

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Saturday, March 03, 2007

Sooo RelAAxxxing

FINALLY!! got me some time to start blogging again......

The past month has been hell of a hectic time for me......grinding my arse on my new project and with CNY. Seriously in need of some relaxation.........golfing with my buddies, hanging out, going on a vacation.......the list is endless. The troubling thing at the moment is me knowing the fact that I won't have the luxury of time to indulge in what I consider "ideal" relaxation because of the workload that I have now. The only thing left for me to do in my quest for relaxation is to spend time everyday after work to look at my beloved aquarium.....sometimes I imagine that I am one of the fishes.....swimming here and there without a care...aahhhh eternal bliss.

Let me clarify the actual reason for my setting up the aquarium.......I have always loved fish, in fact I love anything to do with fish.....eating them, rearing them, fishing them, admiring them, etc. This particular aquarium that I have in my house right now is set up for the sole purpose of rearing underwater plants....Yes, you read it correctly....P.L.A.N.T.S.....meaning ferns, moss, long stalked plants, etc. The picture you see in this post is of my old and long gone aqaurium....I have since upgraded it to a one piece showcase type instead of the four piece conventional aquarium ( no pics of it yet ).

The cost incurred for my hobby as of todate is as such:


1) 1 unit 3" single piece showcase aquarium = RM 1,300 of damage

2) 1 unit Tetra external filteration system = RM 650 of damage

3) 1 set of C02 ( Carbon Dioxide ) system = RM 600 of damage

4) Amazon sand ( under layer ) = RM 300 of damage

5) River sand ( top layer ) = RM 150 of damage

6) Rock and driftwood = RM 200 of damage

7) Four tubes of Arcadia lights = RM 280

Total damage incurred ( fixed ) = RM 3,480


1) Plants = RM 500 approx

2) Fishes = RM 100 approx

Total damage incurred ( variable and running ) = RM 600

So, can you imagine the hell I got from my wife? hehehehehe.......I always tell her that this underwater garden is specially designed, nurtured and grown for her.........and as of today she has accepted and seen the beauty of my underwater garden of Eden. So much so that she will follow me during my weekend excursions to specialist aquarium shop to look for rare and exotic plants. The treasures that I have in my collection todate are :

The Marimo, a ball like moss found only in Japan and certain Scandinavian countries( ). Marimo is also used by lovers to confess their love for each other ( ) but the exportation of Marimo Moss has since been curbed in order to protect the depletion of this underwater beauty.

Moss.....I have quite a substancial collection of moss in my aquarium....Taiwan moss, Flame moss, Java moss, Dripping moss, Peacock moss and Christmas moss.

Apart from the above, I also have the Staghorn Fern, Longfillia, Lilies and Amazon Swords.

Rearing plants is not such a big just have to keep the water temperature within a range of 23 to 28 degree C, provide them with ample supply of Carbon Dioxide, Oxygen and artificial daylight for photosynthesis and a good and steady supply of nutrients ( vitamins ).

I change 10-15% of the water weekly to maintain the kH and ph content.

It was tough like hell initially but I have since become quite an expert on rearing underwater plants.........and my wife is no longer giving me hell...hehehehehhe.

I am always open should any of you guys wish to set up your own underwater garden..please feel free to come and have a chat. FYI, I live in a very,very,very small apartment and this is my only way to have a living garden which I can fiddle around with during weekends.

Apart from the cost/damage incurred, it has given my endless happiness to date and also helped to bring my blood pressure down....hehehehe.

2 every1 his/her own..............

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