Ever heard of the saying that a dog’s bark is worse than its bite….?
Been meeting ( and hearing ) a few of these dogs around lately….
They go “Wooof wof wof woof and Grrrrrr…grrrr” at the slightest given chance...
Why are they so like that one ar? Talk nicely la….everyone is only human…a lot of us are capable of understanding spoken languages ma….don’t bark your head off la.
The word of the day is…"Treat others with respect IF you want others to respect you"
No need to go WOOOF..WOOOOF…WOOF!!! and AAOOOOUUUU!! AAOOOOUUWWW!! ma
Sometimes I feel like shouting back at them "terima kasih" ( in Cantonese )…this "terima kasih" thingy was taught to me by one of my colleagues ( thanks Ooi…..HAHHAHAA). Please ask Ooi for yourselves the EXACT way of saying “terima kasih” in cantonese( for those who know him )….cannot write it in my blog la…
Aiyooo…don’t write also manyak susah…here goes nothing…..to say "terima kasih" in Cantonese you have to say it like this…"t!u le* ma ka h@i" ….got it? Have to say it very fast though and try to put an "s" sound at the end so it really sounds like "terima kasih"..kekekeke
So the next time if a dog barks at you for nothing, just say a BIG and LOUD "terima kasih" to him/her loh…110% guarantee the dog will appreciate you thanking him/her from the bottom of your heart…muahahahaha..
2 every1 his/her OWN…………and terima kasih manyak manyak woooooo..
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
"Terima Kasih" The Correct Way
The Life and Times of A Lorry Driver
A typical day for me ( a lorry driver ) is as below….I sometimes wonder how and where I can find the time to wrestle with wifey…..sigh….
6:00 am – Bangun pagi, gosok gigi, cuci buntut, pakai baju ( wakey wakey, go toilet to brush teeth and wash my ass ), then change into lorry driver work wear.
6:30 am – Try to get the kids up for school
6:45 am – Still trying to get the kids up for school. Wifey wash them, cloth them and feed them breaky.
7:15 am – Accompany kids downstairs to dad’s car for school.
7:30 am – F.O. from house for breaky with wifey at coffeeshop
8:30 am – Drop off wifey at office in Shah Alam ( lorry driver no money to get an additional car )
8:50 am – Should have reached site by now ( depends on the stooopid traffic on Jalan Puchong…ptui )
*** Toll cost is RM 4.90 thus far ***
9:00 am – Start work by looking thru paperwork for the day before
11:30 am – Pop 2 panadols into mouth cause no chance to shit yet until now. Review daily MDL status thereafter.
12:00 noon – Try to slot in a post in blog prepared the day before. Lunchy break thereafter.
1:00 pm – Back from lunch and start looking thru today’s pile of shit ( documents ).
4:00 pm – Will generally finish thru today’s pile of shit by now. Pop another 2 panadols because still no time to shit.
4:30 pm – Go to Construction cabin for a discussion with the boys in regards to the day’s activities.
5:00 pm – Back at DC for final check on documents for the day.
6:00 pm – F.O. balik rumah cause don’t want to do overtime ( very difficult to explain why...I am not lazy but its too fucking leceh la )
7:00 pm – Pick up wifey from her office and home thereafter
8:15 pm – Reach home, kiss the kids, go mandi and dinner thereafter.
*** freaking toll is near RM 10.00 per day...ptuuui***
8.30 pm – Playtime with the kids ( kena bully by them on the Playstation..will generally end up wrestling with 2 of them )
9:00 pm – Revision time for kids ( wifey tutor ). I go lepak in front of telly.
10:30 pm – Lights out time for kids
11:00 pm – Chat with wifey ( this is a must everyday )
11:30 pm – Type post for blog ( using Microsoft Word...easy to copy and paste the next day)
12:00 am – Will generally knock off about this time
So, that’s an example of my normal day….an abnormal one will include wrestling activities with wifey ( as and when permissible ), drinking session with mates/customers ( on call 24/7 ), futsal ( Thursday ) and yam cha ( Saturday )
How is your typical day by the way?
2 every1 his/her OWN………………..
Monday, July 30, 2007
Hangover
Hangover...Hungover...whatever..
The word "hangover" is very, very famous among the drinking circle...mentioned that word and you will get lorry load full of comments. Below are examples of comments that one might hear..........
from drinkers :
- aiyooo...I understand how that feels....
- take it easy bro
- pop a panadol and get some rest dude
the list goes on and on
from non drinkers ( wifey in particular ) :
- see!...already told you not to drink ma...
- HAIyoooo.....don't complain la
- I cannot help you. If can also I won't
- you better not show you temper to the kids!!
- go drink some more...good for you
- hangover? you can get hangover meh?
- nag nag nag nag
the list is longer than the one above
I normally won't get a hangover unless:
- I mix my drinks like hell
- I drink too bloody much
But I have found a few "so called" remedies which can help prevent hangovers.....take note that the word used is PREVENT and NOT cure:
1) Drink 1 or 2 cans of isotonic based drink after a drinking binge BEFORE going to sleep.
2) Consume Vitamin C ( minimum 500 mg ) before going to sleep ( for this I prefer Sandoz C 1000 mg )
3) Do step 1 + 2 for super overloaded and "kau kau" drinking sessions
4) Eat 2-4 tablets of Actal BEFORE any drinking sessions
I doubt if the above has been scientifically tested or proven BUT I guarantee that it will lessen if not PREVENT dreadful hangovers. Thats why I always keep a few cans of 100 Plus or Excel Isotonic drinks in my car and at home.
Actually learnt this from one of my brothers ( thanks Simon ) and the pub chicks ( the ones that pour your drinks )...hehehehehe. Out of curiosity I asked them how the hell they can tahan drinking everyday without any hangover....nabeh..have to persuade like a dog before they were willing to tell me their trade secret.
Believe or not to believe its entirely up to oneself but its better to try and find that it might not work on you THAN TO HAVE YOUR GF OR WIFEY NAGGING AT YOU FOR "OVER" DRINKING....PLEEEEEEEEEEASE TRUST ME ON THIS.....btw, I am still having a dreadful hangover as of this post ( didn't do any of the above steps last night...f*ck!! )
2 every1 his/her OWN................
Quickie...mookie
Ever been caught in the below self explanatory situation? NO? si boh? come on la...admit it la...no need to shout it out loud ma...just a simple YES in the heart will suffice liao ma...muahahaha.
Dialogues ( just in case not clear ):
pic 1 : son playing, mom and dad watching telly
pic 2 : Dad's hand moving up mummy's ahem
pic 3 : Daddy tells son that he has been inside the house all afternoon...time for him to go stand on the balcony and tell them what he see outside
pic 4 : son said "illegally parked car la, police towing it away la.." ( daddy getting BJ )
pic 5 : blah blah blah ( daddy on top of mummy )
pic 6 : blah blah blah ( daddy behind mummy )
pic 7 : son said "the Smiths are screwing" ( daddy and mummy stop prematurely )
pic 8 : Dad asked " how do you know that Billy?"
pic 9 : Billy "cause their son is standing outside on the balcony too"
How? still a big NO? aiyooo...why you all so like this one? For me, its a YES...YES for then, now and I hope forever because there is nothing like a bit of excitement and adventure to keep a relationship interesting and healthy...
There's no beating or changing Human Nature.....hehehhe
Anyway, its 2 every1 his/her OWN.............
Saturday, July 28, 2007
High Intensity Discharge aka H.I.D.
Driving along at night along a dark and deserted strech of highway........miles and miles of emptiness awaits to greet you. You take a peek at your rearview mirror and see the same thing...darkness...nothing but darkness.....
You start to feel a tad uncomfortable, your hand apprehensively reach for the rearview mirror to tilt it ever so slightly downwards as if to reenact the saying "out of sight, out of mind".....before you could do anything your eyes catch a bluish glow coming from the rearview....you look up to see what is making the funny coloured hue.
It gets brighter and brighter by the second...the bluish hue now turns purplish with a mixture of pink...you think to yourself...WTF is this? Before long, the intensity of the lights reduce your eyes to nothing more than a squint....its on your tail now....you press the accelerator to distance yourself but to no avail....its sticking to you like glue! you move left, it moves left...move right and its still there, on your tail....arrrgg! In a panic you throw the steering left and slow down your car...the lights the passes you with a vrroooom..its a bloody EVO 9 with HIDs....you nearly shit in your pants!!
That is HID ( High Intensity Discharge )....the light bulbs of the HIDs utilises gas ( xenon ) as a medium of producing glow instead of the conventional aka old school filament type. It has a very high voltage ballast box with ignitor fitted from the car's power supply prior to the vacuum bulbs. The HID comes in 3000k, 6000k, 8000k and 12,000k ratings. In terms of lumens, HIDs should be producing about 2,800 to 3,500 lumens. 
For me the 3k up to the 8k bulbs are quite ok...they produce a white daylight like ( not exact daylight ) glow as opposed to the 12k ones ( bluish purplish hue ). One setback with using HIDs though.....its quite useless in the rain and fog...one practically sees nothing!
I had a set of HIDs ( 8k ) outfitted in my old Protong Jawa...wah lan eh...lansi like hell ma.....couldn't wait to show off its blinding power. Drove up to Genting Highlands with wifey and mum in law in tow. My usual journey up the Highlands normally takes 1 hour but this special show off journey took me 1.30 hours!!
I was practically blinded by the fog quarter way up....everywhere was a blanket of white! It started to rain when I was about to reach the peak....ahhhhh happy at last..was thinking to myself that the rain will drive away the fog. FULAT....learned the hard way that I was out of the frying pan and into the fire! the bloody HIDs deflected like hell in the rain causing my vision of the road to be reduced to about 5 feet. Poor me, my poor eyes and my poor ears ( wifey was laughing her head off ).
The BolehLand's ever efficient JPJ and Police at first allowed the use of HIDs...then they banned it with threats of fines...then they might allowed it cause nothing has been done so far ( bunch of morons )....TNM...why they so like that one ar? can or cannot! make up your stoopid freaking minds la! Why ban it when they allow the importation of HIDs? Apprehend the suppliers and installers la. ( pls read link http://paultan.org/archives/2005/09/10/jpj-makes-hid-illegal-without-approval/ )
For me, the use of HIDs are ok. Its a mean to safer driving ( if used properly ). Safer in the sense that you can see the road and safer in the sense that your vehicle is easily noticed by others ( even in the rain OR fog )....just plain common sense. Visibility is not only for the driver but its also for others to notice you....elementary right?
Most of the well known car marques are already specifiying HIDs as standard factory fittings....BMW, Audi, VW, Merc, Toyota, Honda, etc ( the later two being in the high end range ). Wonder when Protong will follow suit...IF they follow ( a bigger bunch of morons ).
A normal set of off shelf HID will cut you back about RM400 ( plus installation ) and a higher end one from RM 800 to Rm1600. Most of them comes with a 1 year guarantee on ballast and few months on bulbs. The average lifespan of a HID bulb is about 50,000 hours ( manufacturers claim ) which is equivalent to 5 years of switching on your headlights non stop. Generally cost RM120 to RM500 for a pair.
Won't wait for the day when the freaking Bolehland authorities make up their stoooopid mind....will be installing a set on my baby soon ( lantak approved or not approved )....have to start calling up my old kakis...hehehe.
For those of you that are planning to install HIDs, please use bulbs that contain no toxic mercury ( love Mother Earth ok? ).
2 every1 his/her OWN........................
Friday, July 27, 2007
Beauty of Banks and Ah Loongs
Money, Money, Money....always sunny...it's a rich man's world....I doubt if most of you can recall the hum"able" tune from Boney M's hit single ( it was a hit in our father's time and ...err..my time as well ).
Money...there will never be enough of Money right? what with the situation nowadays.....
in comes the Banks and the so called "Licensed Money Lenders" aka Big Ear Hole aka Ah Loong.
Banks - I rest my case with them....credit checks la, CITOS la, whatchumacalit shit la. One has to prepare tons of personal documents for submission before they even consider giving you a loan. The Goverment's instruction to them for providing loans to SMI's are just pure bullshit! What SMI are they talking about? should just say that SMI = Cronies la...don't insult the public's intelligence by saying that a certain RM50 million has been allocated for the developement of so and so sector la....thats utter nonsense!
How does the banks expect the local Joe to come up with a market survey, proposed marketing strategy, forecast of P & L and so forth prior to even considering their application....??!!
In comes the Licensed Money Lenders with super attractive terms..e.g. no interest charged, you get what you borrow, flexible repayment period, etc.
FYI, I have personally sat with 30 or more Ah Loongs for a kau kau "table talk" session....and NO...it was not me who borrowed the moolah but a former employee of mine who did it. He started with a sum of RM5,000 which ended up to a beautiful final lump sum of RM 75,000++...nice way of making money huh?
The Ah Loong's Modus Operandi is like this:
1) borrow from 1st Ah Loong = RM5,000..payment RM300 interest per day cut off time 12 noon everyday
2) let's say that the average Joe manages to pay the interest of RM300 for 2 weeks without fail and after that cannot pay liao.
3) along comes 3 Ah Loongs who offers to cover up your borrowings from the 1st Ah Loong BUT you have to borrow RM7,000 to cover to RM5,000.
4) They tell you that they will personally settle the first Ah Loong and give you some extra cash in return...let's say RM800.
Now you owe the Ah Loongs RM8,000 instead of RM5,000 whereby the Ah Loong's actual exposure is only RM1,600 BECAUSE
Regular Joe paid 2 weeks without fail at RM300 per day = RM4,200
Therefore:
RM4,200 deduct initial borrowings of RM5,000 = RM 800 balance
ADD RM800 that the regular Joe received while concluding the 2nd loan = RM1,600
AND THEY ARE ALL FROM THE SAME COMPANY.....see the beauty of it?
So, anyone wanna become an Ah Loong? Exposure RM 1,600 only BUT returns RM8,000 minimum....so good ma.....and guarantee the stoopid bugger cannot pay wan...so your returns can go into the tens of thousands liao...wooooohoooooooo!!!!
Take note that its very, very easy to reach RM75,000 from just an initial borrowing of RM5,000.....don't believe me? care to give it a try?
I also know of some bugger who gave the Ah Loongs his car to drive ( as collateral woh ptui! ) in order to get a loan. He ended up losing his car.
Another stoooopid bugger gave them the birth certificate of his son....what kinda sohai is this? By doing that he can even ask his mother, sister or wife to prostitute themselves for him right? Bloody inhuman sonofabitch! His matter is not solved yet as of this posting.
Most of the people who borrow from Ah Loong ( that I personally know of ) is for the use of gambling and womanizing....ptuuui!!!!
I don't blame the Ah Loongs...no one forces anyone to borrow money right?....heck, blame the the Ah Loong's fear factor method of collection even but DO NOT blame them for lending money.
We should in fact blame the fucking BolehLand Banks for their ease in lending money ( to their cronies ) and we should 100% blame the BolehLand Goverment's stooooopid laws and guidelines imposed on the banks....go fly kite in the rain and get yourselves struck by lightning la.
Bottom line is....never ever borrrow from Ah Loongs....guaranteed one way, no return highway to hell.
anyway its 2 every1 his/her OWN.........................
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
My baby got kissed
My baby got kissed.....
Got a call from wifey yesterday at about 7.15pm.....rrrring...rrring..."yes darling, anything?"
"lou kong, a lady in a BMW rear ended your baby"said wifey...
"errrr...are you ok? is the damage bad?" said I
wifey answered.."I am ok but there are some minor scratches on the bumper and the funny looking thing went in"
Was thinking to myself...Ooh Oooooh...funny looking thing? wonder whats that?......"eerrr, can you tell me what funny looking thing are you reffering to? what does it look like?"
"Well, its located in the middle of the bumper...one on the left and the other on the right...the left one sorta went in" said wifey
Shit! there goes my reverse sensor...."it's ok..no big deal..let me speak to the driver of the BMW ok?"
With a super deep voice I said "Hello..I understand that you bumped into my car huh? are you ok? what happened?"
The LADY driver answered in her sweetest voice "aiyoooooo, so soli hoh, I never see you wife bleak woh...very soli hoh"....I was like going TNM " its ok, I also understand from my wife that the damage was minimal with the exception of the reverse sensor"
Leng Lui said "ya loh...your leverse cencor spoil liao woh...how ar?" I said "look Miss H, its not fair that I simply ask you to pay me a certain sum right? why don't you let me take my car to the Chevvy dealer and get a quote on the sensor...I will give you a call after that ok?"
"ok loh, we do what you say loh" said LL
Fast forward to today....zzziiiiiiiiiieeeut
"Hello Miss H, got the quote and my sensor replaced....cost about RM120" I told her
"waaah, so expensive wan ar? this sensor flom USA ar?" said LL
TNM cha me from USA meh "No lah, this is the price they quoted me la.....its ok if you don't want to pay cause its no big deal la" said mua
"ok la, ok la....you sms me your bank account la...I bank in for you hoh? can ar?" asked the LL
"okie dokie...sms after this call and thanks ( kaninaweh...have to thank her somemore..tiu!)
"another thing hoh? I report to police liao because I want to claim insulance woh" said the LL
"INSURANCE? why?" I asked her
"aiyoooooo...u dunno meh? my car sarong and 2 big lamp pecah liao laa" screamed the LL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...BMW woh!!!
Anyway, the price of the sensor was only RM30...the extra RM90 was charges for causing inconvenience to me...HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA...BMW woh!
Aiyoooooo.....MH forgot to charge her for letting me scoot like a mad dog to the police station to make a report within 24 hours....shit!
2 every1 his/her OWN............
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
The Assault of P1 Hill
Finally back into the front line after my R & R....back to continue my 9th tour of duty....to join the troops for a final assault aka the final push on the notorious Vietcong stronghold.......P1 đồi( vietnamese for "hill" )......
Into thời kỳ vô cùng bi đát, thời kỳ gần kề cõi chết ( the valley of the shadow of death ) we walk, in single file, every sinew of muscle tensed, eyes and ears on full alert.....looking, listening....trying to search for the enemies clad in darkness.....the harbringers of death....
This is the scene that a lot of my colleagues face everyday at work.....one wrong step and BOOOOM....you're a goner. Despite the risks, my colleagues trudge on...one by one they fall by the wayside...some from sniper fire, some due to landmines, booby traps and even friendly fire ( shot in the back/ass ).
With every army there is the Leader or Head Honcho or General or whatchumacalit. The success of a particular army depends solely on their warfare planning. Thats what they are good for...planning and nothing else. Execution of the said planning are undertaken by Captains, Majors, Lieutenants, Sargeants, Corporals, Lance Corporals and the regular G.I. Joes. These guys are the ones ( aka donkeys ) that rush headlong first into battles...countless battles are won OR lost because of planning and execution.
In the assault of P1 Hill, the scenario is very funny...funny in the sense that :
The Generals wants us to capture the hill at whatever cost BUT they are unwilling to provide extra benefits to the ailing soldiers. Request of extra rations, bullets, etc are being questioned. Request forms has been rejected and blah, blah, blah....with nonsensical comments...WTF!
Are these our problems? From what was understood ( we have internet access even in the Killing Fields ), the problems surfaced not because of the donkey soldiers....its because of them Generals....their request are not clear, not transparent enough, etc. The Generals then pushed the shit to us....start questioning our request la. this la. that la.......as a form of payment and gratitude shown in return for our laboring and dying in the field for them.
Some Generals even blatantly disregard the troops as human being by showing favoritism to certain quarters....hey come on la...all of us fight la, some in the field, some in the medic tent, some in the armoury, some in the field office BUT ALL OF US FIGHT YOUR BATTLES FOR YOU....
How many battles can a soldier fight in such demoralizing situation(s)? The soldiers understand that being under constant stress and duress is part and parcel of the job......the very least that the Generals can do is to keep their promises la. Some even went to the extent of promising promotions if the particular soldier can perform well in this particular battle....TIUNYAMA...fighting countless battles is not enough ar? still have to prove our fighting capabilities ar?
Is the roof above your head, the luxury tanks that you drive, the soft cushion that you park your black ass on are not testament of our dedication and commitment towards your cause for living in luxury....if it is not then what is!!!!?? The meagre wages that the soldiers get is only enough for living...some not even enough to fuck and have kids...so go figure before rejecting request and so forth!!!!! The saying of "PENNY WISE, POUND FOOLISH" truely applies here..fuck me dead if it doesn't!!!
A lot of us foresee that the end is near, the end of fighting aimless, meaningless battles for a country that has its freedom and independence for 26 fucking years. A country that has lost its memory of where she came from...A country that has since forgotten to show gratitude to her soldiers that died fighting in order to sustain her life.
TRUST, GRATITUDE and BELIEVE ...without that, there is no point for the Generals to enlist new recruits OR maintain the current batch of Donkeys....
2 every1 his/her OWN........................
Monday, July 23, 2007
Bangkok & Pattaya 2007
Finally back from my holiday...got into office today and found lotsa shit waiting for me but thats another forum..hehehehe
Happy to say that this holiday cum self exile did me ( and wifey ) good....the trip itself was a splendid one with loads of shopping for wifey ( poor me! )...
DAY 1 ( Wednesday ) - Bangkok
Arrive at the new Swuvarnabhumi ( pronounced without the "i" ) Airport to meet with the local guide there. To my surprise, I was told that the whole tour group consists of only wifey and myself...woooohoooooo...a VIP tour!!!
Proceeded to check in at the D'Ma Pavillion Hotel. Location of hotel ok, within walking distance of a few shopping complexes, The World Trade Centre and a local market. Called up the cabbie which was a friend of my friend to take us around Bangkok. Visited the King's Palace, Chulalongkorn's Palace, The Old City and Chatuchak market....managed to take some pics before the skies opened up. Was a tad disappointed that Chatuchak market is only "fully" opened on weekends as the place is famous for its bargains galore. Had dinner with guide, kena a few whisky coke and caught zzzzzzzzz's thereafter.
DAY 2 ( Thursday ) - Bangkok - Pattaya
Woke up and buffet breaky ( nothing to shout about ). Proceeded with Bangkok tour of Wat Alun. Had to cross the Choa Phraya river by boat to reach the Wat ( cost RM 0.30 per pax ). Arrived there with loads of Koreans and Japanese tourist....cameras where clicking like hell ( for I dunno wat...what ). Had to pay to enter, so me and wifey spend the time taking pictures from outside and did us some window shopping ( not really into temple thingy ). Had lunch thereafter and proceeded to look for some new headlights for my 2nd wifey ( my chevvy ). Managed to purchase the GM blackened headlights for Thb 7,500 and immediately pushed off to Pattaya. Stopped at a local Gem factory where wifey bought a bracelet which cost RM900 damage to my pocket.
Arrived Pattaya at about 12 noon ( thai time ). Checked in at the A-One Hotel....I was initially put off by the weird sounding name of this hotel BUT was totally blown away by the decor...shit!! I 110% recommend that you guys make a beeline for this hotel if you are ever in Pattaya.....its shaped like a ship....the rooms are called cabins...staffs are dressed like sailors....the rooms are decorated like as though you are in a ship....was worth the moolah spent to get this hotel ( thanks to my Ticketing and Tour Agent, Sedunia ).
Had a chinese styled lunch and proceeded to catch some zzzz's. Woke up at about 3 pm, went jalan-jalan with wifey along the beach and ended up dismissing my VIP guide for the rest of the day..hahahhahaha....reason?...read below...
While walking, I stumbled across some bike rental dudes...managed to get me a Honda CBR 600 RR series for Thb 800 per day rental. Passed them my international driving licence as collateral and zoomed off to pump in some petrol. Was whizzing around Pattaya like mad on my new toy with wifey hanging on to dear life. Stopped everwhere for shopping.....stop, buy, bag full, go back hotel to unload and off we would go again to repeat the process.
Come night, the beeline was to a place called "Walking Street"....you can see lotsa funny stuffs and going ons there....Agogo Bars, Gay Bars, Ladyboy bars......fuuuyoooh! Had dinner at one of the bistros served by ladyboys.....damn cuuun I tell you...more cun than a lot of women I know. I actually thought of paying one of them to strip so that I can take her/his naked pic....with thing or no thing....but wifey was objecting like hell, saying that its too gross. Ended up relaxing and listening to live music and kena"ing" quite a number of whisky cokes. The drinks are hell of a cheap there.....beer cost RM5 per mug, a bottle of Black bout RM120 and a whicky coke is RM13 per shot....shit! Was quite high by the time we got on the CBR and wifey was laughing all the way back to the hotel....on a serious note, I am very happy to see wifey so happy....
DAY 3 ( Friday ) - Pattaya - Bangkok
Checked out and proceeded to the Tiger Show ( real Tigers mind you ) and Noong Nook Gardens ( Cultural and Elephant Show ). Spent about 1 hour each place as we are not too into elephants and cultural shows. Arrived Bangkok at about 7 pm and proceeded to have dinner. Kena a few whisky coke ( again ) at the local bar opposite my hotel and zzzzz's thereafter.
DAY 4 ( Saturday ) - Bangkok - KLIA
Woke up...had breaky and nearly slapped some pondan from China. He berated a poor waitress for not serving him coffe the moment he sat down....shouted until the poor girl cried....shit! Wifey knew what I was going to do ( heheheheh ), I told her to excuse me, got up and parked myself in front of the pondan's face. I told to to shout his gap or I will do it for him......end of the pondan story. Wifey was smiling from ear to ear but I dunno why...I expected to be taruh"ed" kau kau...hhhmmmmm.
Rushed to the local market for some last minute shopping ( again ). Was fully packed by the time the pickup to the airport came. Arrived, checked in and proceeded to the waiting lounge. Reached home about 8.30pm ( flight was delayed ), hug the kids like mad, took bath and parked myself into bed.
All in all it was a superb holiday for wifey and myself despite the notorious Bangkok jam. Had to omit some items to cut post short.
Will be willing to open up over a couple of whisky cokes though....hehehehehehe
2 every1 his/her OWN.....................
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Hooray, hooray, its a holi, holiday...
With feelings of a super burnout lurking in the horizon.....I am very happy to say that wifey and I will be leaving for an overdue and timely tour of Bangkok and Pattaya from tomorrow onwards...
Have been running around a lot these pass few months......hopefully my batteries will be recharged after this trip....hopefully.
Contacted a taxi driver in Bangkok to book his Altis and services for a full day-on call-thingy which is going to cost me THB1500. Should be expecting to visit some historical sites with some shopping activities for wifey thrown in...errrr...have to rephrase the last bit...not some....should be a lot of shopping for wifey.
Am also hoping to catch the famous Chao Praya Dinner Cruise as part of our free and easy tour despite it being well known for its difficulty in obtaining seats....will keeping my fingers crossed though....wish me luck.
Pattaya...really have nothing to write about the place because I have never been there but heard that its a beautiful place. If any of you guys/gals have suggestion(s) on where to go please feel free to suggest, would really appreciate it.
This should be my last post from now until Sunday....won't be lugging my bulging lappy to Thailand. Have had enough of work and net for now.......will be posting an update of my trip upon my return....till then.
"Peace be the Journey Dudes and Dudettes"
2 every1 his/her OWN.
Read Full Post........
Monday, July 16, 2007
Malaysian Police
Was driving to work today, happily chatting with wifey on the co-curricular activity we had the night before........lo and behold.....suddenly there was sounds of sirens coming from behind. A police outrider overtook my car and started to wave us to one side.
I immediately flicked my blinkers and cut in to the left.....saw a car in front of me ( with an old couple inside ) struggling to get out of the way because traffic was quite heavy at that point....up came a policeman who signalled to the driver of the car to wind down his side window. He did as was told and you know what happened next? The police bastard shouted at the old man.."HOI!!! bodohkah? tak tahu law ka? cepat pergi tepi, cepat....BODOH!!!!!"
I was fuming mad by then and was cursing the police outrider like hell....gave a honk at the traffic cop...he looked over and I pointed a finger to my head....he showed me a fist in return......hehehehehe. To tell the truth, wifey was quite scared by then but I was not finished.....I gave a honk again and switch on my left blinkers....indicating to the police outrider that I wanted him to pull over and stop together with me. The bastard showed me his fist again and sped off.....FUCK HIM....I hope the bastard ends up under a trailer for all I care.
By then, all the Bigshots ( Balls ) had passed us allowing us to continue at our normal pace....I pulled my car alongside the old couple to give a honk and a smile....which was acknowledged in return.
Apart from getting an earfull from wifey (used to it liao..hehehehhe ) my point of argument is this:
1) Are our policemen trained to be that fucking rude? I was wondering if they treat their aging parents this way.
2) Are we not paying something called "ROADTAX"? If yes, then why do we have to pull over just for the Bigballs? Hey, take away the freaking Roadtax and I will be glad to pull over for the policemen mothers to pass but until then please go to hell.
3) Are they ignorant of the fact that an accident can be caused by forcing people to the left suddenly? Who is going to pay if a pile up were to occur?...the fucking BolehLand Goverment? I don't think so.....
4) Travel at 3 fucking am la if you ( the bigballs ) want an uninterrupted journey...don't fuck up everyone's journey just because you are late after having a quickie with the maid....bunch of stupid fucks!
I will be writing to the papers after this post....I will be damned if they publish my article of complaint but that is the way things are in BolehLand.....full of fucking transparency in everything.....bunch of stupid moronic idiots....and of course not forgetting to thank the parents of these moronic idiots who taught them how to respect others....UP YOURS!
2 every1 his/her OWN..................
Sunday, July 15, 2007
ASS ( Attention Seeking Syndrome )
Inky Binky Bongkey,
Above poem is the modified version from the famous children sing-a-long poem....had to modify it to suit the post...hehehehehe..
What is a Donkey/Ass?
Cambridge's definition = noun [C]an animal like a small horse with long ears
Oxford's definition = noun (pl. donkeys)
Oxford's definition of ASS = noun 1 a donkey or similar horse-like animal with long ears and a braying call.
— ORIGIN Latin asinus.
For this post I will probably stick to the word "Ass"......simply because it sounds better, its befitting the Ass's actions, the bugger brays like an Ass, etc...
SOLUTION: SHOOT THE ASS IN THE HEAD AND THE ASS
I have since rested my case but I assure you that someone will get their Ass Kicked if he/she tries to put my Ass on the line in order for him/her to look good....110% guarantee that he/she will get their Ass chewed as well! Don't even dare try to fuck me in the Ass...!!!
He ain't heavy, he's my Brother
Normally in BolehLand a group of us brothers will gather at our favourite mamak place called Salim, in Section 17 every Saturday without fail……we still have our usual get together but its not the same without the bugger.
Special circumstances forced Alvin to Sudan….circumstances that I would rather not mention but I am glad that he has decided to rough things out by going to the hell hole in order to settle his problems…..for that I salute him.
He told me that he will come back to Malaysia upon the expiration of his passport ( another 2.5 years )…..can’t come back now cause the Income Tax Department is looking for him….hehehehehhe.
For his R&R ( Rest and Relax ) he will normally go to Thailand…that’s where his GF, Mandy is…..Mandy is hell of a nice…I like her a lot. She is from Bangkok, an entrepreneur who has seen everything, has everything and lost everything in the economy glut recently. One thing I can say about Mandy is that she is damn hardworking and tough….I sincerely hope that they will have the chance to settle down after what they have been thru.
Alvin, all the bothers namely, Simon, Ah Tung, Chi Meng, Sei Koh, etc miss goofing off with you.....hope this will change in another 2.5 years.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Ooops! Someone Died...again
Why does all this shit happen to me? Why is that someone always dies when I come here ( Sudan )?
Last time it was John Garang ( PM ) and now its one of their ministers.....I think its the Health Minister. It seems that he/she was assasinated at home yesterday night. Couldn't get any sleep at all because of the blaring sirens in front of my hotel ( please read "On The Road Again" ).
Shit! now I will have trouble getting out fron this hell hole.....Army and Police roadblocks have been tripled. I have been advised to go to the airport as early as possible so that they can take time own sweet time to search my arse.....have to go buy some KY asap. Aiyoooo....forgot that today is Friday and everything is closed in Sudan...there goes my arse!
Its funny that I have not seen any news at all in CNN or NBC regarding this assasination....wonder why is it being kept hush hush? Have to keep looking around my back while writing this post because of the sensitivity of the situation at hand........for all you guys that know me or want to know me...keep an eye out in the internet to see if I appear with the famous words" I don't want to die" before getting my freaking throat slit..hehehehehe...remember to call my wifey as well ( call after that and NOT now ok? ).
As I have said before and I will say again...this is a shit hole of a country! Petronas buggers are being paid USD180 per day to come to this shit hole....happy to sat that I am being paid way much higher than them.....a big fat 200....RM200 per day!!! WAAAHOOOO!!! rich liao la this time...WAAHOOOO....no need to work for life liao...so much, so much moolah...what can I do with it?...aaheem..sorry for blabbering out of control guys/gals...aaheem..ok, to continue with my post...here goes..
To tell you guys the truth, its not about the money ( but I wished I could be paid a higher allowance ) that I took up this assignment....its about the experience. Wifey was initially protesting like hell but luckily I managed to explain to her that I was not going to sow my seeds here but just to gain some experience....how to sow ones seeds here? the freaking AIDS count is sohai...errr...so high.Moreover, I wouldn't like a part of my anatomy to be chopped off right? Don't forget that Sudan is an Islamic country and they are very, very extremist in nature.
In spite of that, I can see many changes around here....changes in the mindset of the youunger generation....at night you can see people walking around, holding hands and there has been instances that I have seen people "duk duk"ing in their cars ( duk duk = having sex, screwing, f*&king ). It is my sincere hope that Sudan will undergo positive changes in another 10 years or so.....changes for the betterment of her people, for the betterment of their well being, etc.
For now, a few of my colleagues and I have no choice but to face the situation at hand whenever we come.......however, the experiences that we gain of different cultures and eye popping incidences has been great.
2 every1 his/her OWN.......................
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I hear The Bells Go Ding Dong
Took the excerpt from and email I received recently ( thanks Robert )....quite hilarious when ones imagination is invoked.....I know that I will not help smiling the next time I hear the church bell ring ( and I know that I will go to hell for this )................
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her Grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and Slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive today if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....2 every1 his/her OWN
Sudan Revisited and Unplugged
Finally....Day 2 in Sudan...still damn poofed out from the trip here....
DAY 1
7 hour flight to Dubai....spent 9 hours of transit time waiting for the freaking connecting flight to Khartoum...thereafter a 4 hour plus flight to this God forsaken hell hole....aarrrggg!
Stepped outta da plane and immediately took a step back...sheeesh! the freaking temp was about 42 Degree C! was sweating like a wet dog in the arrival hall.....what with queing up 1 hour plus just to get my passport stamped and another 1 hour waiting for my luggage......
Luckily my driver was waiting for me by the time I got everything settled......went to a place called Little Asia ( supposedly the best place in town ) for din-din...ordered egg fried rice which cost Sudanese Dinar 4000 ( about RM35 ) and a a glass of orange juice ( SD 1500 = RM 18 )....the food has 2 types of taste over here....bad or damn bad...mine was bad.
DAY 2
Woke up feeling like I drank 3 bottles of Chivas.....went to the toilet but nothing came out ( must have turned hard because of the heat ). Took a shower of hot scalding water cause there are only 2 temp settings here...yup, you guesssed it, hot or scalding hot! maaaan, can feel my balls turning half boiled after about 2 minutes under the shower. Jumped out and finished the bath by wiping myself down with a wet towel.
My driver came and picked me up for the frustrating journey to Ranhill where I was to get some payment for my company. Traffic was as usual.....bad! felt myself pressing the imaginary emergency brake quite a number of times ( just like when my wifey learnt how to drive...hehehehe ) before reaching the place 2 hours later.....chin chonged for a bit, presented my case and left for Emirates to confirm my workers flight home.
Was totally drained by 4.00 pm ( 9.00 pm Malaysian Time )...reached the hotel at 4.30 and managed to retrive some emails before writing this post.....which by know, felt like I have drank 6 bottles of Chivas....
No strength left, enemies are closing in on every quarter, low on ammo and no reinforcements in sight....the only Black Hawk got shot down earlier today.....hafta sign out from Ground Zero now....will continue the report tomorrow if conditions allow....how I envy you guys back in BolehLand......zzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzzz....
2 every1 his/her OWN
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
P.I.P.
Recently was chatting with the owner's rep for the project that I am working on currently.....on the issues of work, workforce, some senseless banter and also on the issue of Management..
A lot of my colleagues know this guy in question.....on the whole he is a nice guy albeit his strong character. The main thing is...he GET THINGS DONE. I have no doubt in my mind that this bugger will be an asset to any company that he joins because of his Management skills.....thats why some Datuk is trying to pull him away from his present position.
For the record, I sometimes argue like shit with him because both of us have strong characters BUT we are good friends...work is work and play is play..
One thing that He and I agree on is the P.I.P methodology of Management....whats is P.I.P.?
Praise In Public and Punish In Private....thats P.I.P.
Why P.I.P. one might ask.....well for that we have to relate to a nature called The Human Nature....
The Human Nature in all of us makes us have:
- the want to be praised for everything good that we do. Praising in public further heightens ones self esteem...some will even walk on air if praised in public ( get my drift? )
- the want to be given due and recognised credit for all good things that we do......the term walking on air applies here as well.
- the want to be rewarded equally with the effort shown.
- the hate to be screwed or ticked off in public.
- the hate of not being recognised for accomplishing objectives
- the hate of others taking credit for our accomplishment(s).
Some might find it difficult to praise their subordinates....I still dunno why as of this posting....and am still baffled by the fact.
Lets face it, the satay fanners who keeps the Managements' balls cool are also out looking for a praise right? eventhough some of them take credit for what others do....the bottomline is they do it because they want to look good and live for a praise.
I for one, am not selfish with praising...my motto is.....do wrong kena screw....do good get praised. For me the same principle applies in everyday situations and everywhere ( at work and at home ).
Wonder if "styles" will change for the better after this particular project....one thing is for certain though....there is a particular asshole trying his very best to get praised, raised and promoted by the Management by emailing everyone about his fucking accomplishments.....WHEN...everyone knows that the bastard didn't do anything at all ( from day 1 till today ) except parking his black ass at the site, trying his best to look good in his Management styled wear and inserting stupid meaning so called proactive wordings in his emails......all the best to the bastard in question.
2 every1 his/her OWN.....................
Rest In Peace Shearwey
Read Full Post........
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Transformers 2007- Their War, Our World
Friday, July 06, 2007
On The Road Again
Tune of Willie Nelson's "On The Road Again" comes to mind when the instruction came down for me to go to Sudan....again....
"Kaotim"ed wifey by promising her a shopping trip to Bangkok and Pattaya when I get back....no deffering or cancellation this time cause I paid for the trip liao......hehehehe....that got her smiling from ear to ear.
Sudan.....land of a 25 year Civil War and Unrest...guarantee culture shock for newbies upon touching down. Temperature variance are at a scorching 52 Degrees C ( max ) and a bone chilling 14 Degree C ( min ).
Will be staying at the Grand Holiday Villa ( Khartoum )....located beside the Nile River ( White Nile I think ) and a stone's throw away from the Sudanese Goverment Prefecture ( lotsa riots and demos ). The Grand itself is not bad...but not that good either....spa is available ( crazy ar? )...so is a swimming pool which they have to top up with water every few hours because of the high evaporation rate ( HAHAHAHA )....food at the Grand taste lousy as hell but the free wireless access in the lobby ( limited time only ) and the air condition serves as a consolation and respite against the harsh and unfamiliar enviroment.
The Goverment of Sudan assures the safety of guest at the Grand by parking 3 to 4 Jeeps armed with heavy calibered machine guns at all corners of the hotel ( yeah...I feel sooooo safe ). All the guest ( foreign ) are required to hand over their passports within 3 days of arrival for an exercise they call " Police Registration". Failure to do so will result in imprisonment...good huh? They claim that the Police wants the record to provide assitance in case of unrest but the truth is the paranoid buggers wants to monitor what we do, where we go, who we talk to, etc.
Taking pictures in Khatoum is at the risk of 2 weeks imprisonment and in the outskirts it is at the risk of death from the kampung people.....in this case, its better that one learn to keep thy cam in thy pants OR at least have the courtesy to ask first before thy start clicking away.
The Sudanese have a hell of a shopping centre that they are super proud of in Khartoum...its called AFRA. Afra is a fully air condition, 2 storey high building, as large as Hiong Kong Supermarket or your typical Mydin. The goods they are for the rich and super rich to buy only as they are all imported goods from Dubai, UAE and such ( mainly arabian countries ).
They is more to write on this heavenly country but not enough espace to do so.
To make it simple for those who have yet to have the pleasure of visiting Sudan, here are some simple steps to help you picture the place :
Imagine that you are in a time machine/capsule....you wave goodbye to your loved ones before closing the door....both your left and right hands are continously flicking switches and your brain is in overdrive mode to remember all the safety check list before the commencement of your flight back in time......with deliberate and precise movements, your hands turn the date dial back to the year 1960 and wait for the signal to ignite the Flux Capacitor ( copyrighted from "Back To The Future" ).....Green is achieved within a minute, the Flux Capacitor starts humming and you hesitantly press the magnetic switch to initiate the sequence........FUUUUWOOOMPH...then silence....you apprehensively open the door....you see dust all around, you hear people crying, screaming, laughing.....a jungle of noise throws you momentarily off guard....a swarm of flies invade your time machine which causes you to hurriedly step out and close the door.
You take a look around and say "FUCK! what have I gotten myself into?"....within a moment you are surrounded by black bodies...pulling at your clothes your hair...the smell makes you feel like puking....people asking for handouts, asking for your pants, your hat, your shoes...and whatever you have on.......your world swirls around as you try your best to grasp the situation at hand.........you realise that you are in hell........you turn around to get back to your live saving time machine but it is no longer where it should be.....you are alone...in hell.....THE END.
I have been travelling quite a lot these few months.....but the more I travel the more I relate to the age old saying of "THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME" ..ooops...before I forget....your credit card is worth shit in Sudan because of the sanction...so bring lotsa cash ( and balls ) when you go there,k?
2 every1 his/her OWN............................
Monday, July 02, 2007
Bully, Victim or Idiot?
Was driving to office after dropping off wifey.....wound down my window in order to get a puff ( I don't puff while others are in my car )...happily cruising along in the outer lane and SCREEECH.... had to apply the brakes because an idiot thought it was funny to come out of a junction, immediately cut out to the outer lane and slot her BM "freaking" W in front of mine....at a snail pace at that!
Yours truly then applied the super duper defensive driving manouvere....chucking the lighter to God knows where, spitting the cigarette out of my mouth only to have in land between my legs, sandwiched between my arse and the seat....at the same time trying to serve left. Heard my tyres and springs groaning in protest, gears downshifted, engine revs was up to about 4500 rpm and finally my baby righted herself without a scratch.......fhhheeeeew.........
GOD! was I pissed! effortlessly overtook the idiot and gave a honk...while at the same time pointing my forefinger to my own head to the other driver which meant " HOOOOI!!! are you using your head my darling?" can you guess what her answer was?...........NOTHING! She didn't give a bloody hoot! not even raising a hand in apology OR a middle finger to ask me how I was. In return, I gave another honk...........showed my concern in her well being by giving her the famous and universally known middle finger and sped off.
Was thinking after the incident......what if I have got myself into an accident....an accident not caused by me....what if, while employing the super duper defensive driving manouvere, my car ran over some unsuspecting motorcyclist who has a wife and three kids at home....what then? In this case, WHO IS TO BLAME? The driver who gave the middle finger or the Lame Duck?
Remember the hype about "Road Bullies" not long ago in the papers? could it be all their fault? no doubt that some are real bullies but I seldom believe what I read in the newspapers.........110% chance that there will be different views on who is right and who is wrong if the newspapers were to publish both sides of the story instead of just the ones who were "victimised" and "traumatised".
To tell the truth, I might have made "something" happen if an accident were to occur...if so, will I be calssified as a "Road Bully" or "Victim".............
2 every1 his/her OWN
