Tuesday, March 06, 2007

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

I always....always have enjoyed listening to jokes and cracking them. Neways, below are some exceptionally witty jokes that I enjoy..have a read and hope it brings laughter to you as it has to me.......

Breast Biting
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts.

He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?"

Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does."Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breastsjust once for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there.

"So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.

As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?""Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..............."

Last Longer
A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.

Finally, he came up with a plan.On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.

He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.

Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."

Situation Beyond Control
There was a church that had a very big-busted organist.

Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, (if you eat them they make you pucker, because they are so sour) and rub them on your breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said:"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday."

How Women Get To Heaven
A small boy walks into his mother's room and catches her topless."Mommy, Mommy, what are those?" he says pointing to her breasts.

"Well, son," she says, These are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven."Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied.

Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen.

"Mommy, mommy, Aunt Eliza is dying!"

"What do you mean?" says his mother.

"Well she's out in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both of her balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling,"God, I'm coming! God, I'm coming!"

2 every1 his/her own.........................

1 comment:

genius said...

beside politic joke, adult joke is most funniest.