Tuesday, December 19, 2006

WHAT IRRITATES????

Been a while since my last post as was quite busy with my last job posting ( pls excuse the lame joke ) to Sudan. Neway, it's good to be back and am still trying to shake off the dreaded writers block.

Since the beginning of my time ( 30 odd years ), I have found that certain things really irritates and irks me off and its my pleasure to share it with you guys.....

Dribblers / Dribbling :-
Ever been in a situation where you go into a public/office toilet....head for the preferred urinal bowl....and ALAKAZAM! you see puddles of dribbles of some arsehole's urine on the floor....just exactly where you were going to adapt your pissing stance! WTF? don't dribblers know that they are not endowed with such long dicks as they think they might have? OR they have a dick with 3 holes....one for shooting in front and the other two for shooting left and right. HEY! aim and shoot straight for God's sake. Pity the cleaner who has to clean up after them....how I wish those dribblers get the same medicine. I also pity those mothers who has a dribbling son.....she has to clean up each and every time the bastard goes to toilet....maaaaan!

Wavey hands :-
That term is used for people who like to wave their hands just to let others know of their dislikes. This wavey hand thingy is best seen during a presence of a smoker ( I myself smoke ). Light up and they will start to put on their sorry looking fucked up faces, start waving their hands left to right as if to clear the air of some imaginary smoke thats choking them. Hey, WHAT THE FUCK! 100% of the smoking population out there knows that smoking will kill them someday dude....SO DOES BREATHING IN CARBON MONOXIDE smart ass! for those wavey hands S.O.B.s out there, Carbon Monoxide is the no odour gas that you guys are breathing in thru your fucking noses every fucking day! and its emitted by the burning of gasoline/petrol/diesel/petrol....u wavey hands know what that means? that means to stop Carbon Monoxide poisoining and to make you motherfuckers live longer, we have to stop using our vehicles, planes, tanks, your mother's car and everything thats using gasoline/petrol/diesel/benzine. My advice to those wavey hands is...please go fuck your own mother/father for starting up their cars in the morning before showing the world that you are choking because of some so called 2nd hand smoke. Yes, no doubt that 2nd hand smoke will kill you ( I do not deny that fact ) but so does every other fucking gas that you are breathing thru your nose...or do the wavey hands breath thru their arse? 100% of the population is health consious nowadays...not just the wavey hands...so just FUCK OFF the next time you see people lighting up OR just stick a fucking Tampon up your fucking nose. Just to let you guys in on a secret k? you know what I will do if I see a wavey hands near me when I light up? I will purposely exhale smoke so that they get a whiff of it. won't do it if they start don't waving their hands...no waving of hands...no exhaling of smoke in their direction...hey, I am a considerate bugger too...very fucking proud to say that my mum taught me well ( except for the smoking part ). So, fuck off far, far, far away wavey hands...go wave your hands at your own ass for all we smokers care....and don't ever fucking wave your freaking hands at me.....see u in HELL!

Names :-
Whats in a name? PLENTY I must say! Your name is you, your personality, your character, your goodname and your reputation. Spoil a bowl of broth is ok but if you spoil your name then you're fucked big time!

Ever came across some buggers with weird names? e.g. Kinky, Horny and such? I saw an ad the other day posted at one of those stalls you see at the supermarket, it reads " Sales Assistant Wanted. Please call Kinky Chong at 01x-xxxxxxx"...HAHAHAHAHA! Kinky? I know that his/her mother got Kinky before they got him...I was laughing my head off and my wife was also laughing along with me. Hey, to have a unique name is ok but not downright weird and obsene. I have an aquaintance who named his daughter "Khatulistiwa" ( Equator ) ...HAHAHAHA..WTF? Equator? why? He wants his daughter to grow up to be "Hot" is it? You can also find lots of funny, weird and foolish names at the Hong Kong Film Star directory....names like Kinky, Rain, Sky, Fish will all appear....by the way, Fish Leong is a Malaysian singer..FISH? HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! what kind...puffer fish? blow fish? well she is welcome to give me a good blow if she wants to.

I can list and list the things that I consider irritating but it will take up too much e-space. Please feel free to insert your comments on the things that ticks you off dudes and dudettes.

2every1 his/her own!!!!

7 comments:

cutebanana said...

yeah !!! wavey hands people are the absolut worst kind of piece of shit on this planet. everytime i see a wavey hand person, i feel like stabbing the person in the head and just bitchslap the person. it just makes me soooo mad. i don't smoke but some of my late friends are smokers too and we had loads of wholesome fun together. i might even start smokin one day but i'm afraid my fuse will just go off when i see a wavey hand person, that's why i try my best to abstain from smokin, so i just try to jack off instead...MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

Jamie said...

Merry Christmas to you too bro...and the name cutebanana is way much better than some kinky, horny or weird name....hehehehe.

Anonymous said...

On Wavey hands:
I believe that those who waves his/her hand wants to tell you explicitly that he/she do not want you to smoke in their presence.

Unless he/she purpose walk to you and waves their hand (which I feel is rude), IMHO, I think it's better to tell the smoker not to light up instead. Which you prefer Jamie? Wavey hands or tell you not to light?

On names:
I totally agree with you. Unless your parents choose it for you (which gives you no choice), why would you want to humiliate yourself with names like Banana or Kinky.

On Dribblers:
If u can't aim, sit like a woman and piss like a pussy.

Anonymous said...

A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, "Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?"

The father replied, "It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean."

With that the father went to the telephone and dialled a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, "Hello, is Melvin there?"

The man answered, "There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don't you learn to look up numbers before you dial them?"

"See," said the father to his daughter. "That man was not a bit happy
with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch...."

The father dialled the number again. "Hello, is Melvin there?" asked the father.

"Now look here!" came the heated reply. "You just called this number and
I told you that there is no Melvin here! You've got a lot of nerve calling again!" The receiver slammed down hard.

The father turned to his daughter and said, "You see, that was anger. Now
I'll show you what exasperation means."

He dialed the same number and when a violent voice roared 'Hello!' in answer, the father calmly said, "Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?"

SK Ding said...

merry christmas!

by the way, i dont have english name, but i just want to tell people i'm very clever and please pay more salary to me. so sometime i told people i'm wisely. sometime people don't understand what is wisely mean for, so i use genius sometime. i also name myself dinstein (take out the E from einstein and put my 1st char. of my surname in).

so are you doing to pay me more if i work with you?

Jamie said...

Anonymous said "Which you prefer Jamie? Wavey hands or tell you not to light?"

To me everyone has their own God given right...be it to wave hands, to smoke, not to smoke, etc. My argument is this....if you can't tolerate or share a space with someone who smokes then Fuck Off. The same applies to smokers...if you can't be considerate enough towards non smokers then Fuck Off as well. The word here is "TOLERATION and UNDERSTANDING" towards another human being. As mentioned, 100% of the smokers out there knows that smoking will kill them someday. A lot of smokers I know will try to go out of their way to take a puff but they are a lot of wavey hands that I personally know who will start waving their hands even if they are upwind of the smoker....why the fuck do they have to do that...is it just to show the population that they are God's perfect greation just because they don't smoke? For that I am more than willing to see them in Hell....rude S.O.B.s. On the answer to your question....I prefer if they come up to me and tell me of their irritation rather than to wave the freaking hands at me. From there, I will see if I am upwind or downwind before apologizing and moving away or just give them a fucking in public that they will not forget and bitchslap them ( like cutie said ).

Jamie said...

sk....of course I will pay you more if you work for me ( if I am fortunate to have my own company one fine day ) but that includes fixing coffee for me, shining my shoes and helping me at the loo...hehehehhe...how? still interested bro?