Malaysia vs The Whole World

Receive the below piece from an email sent by a buddy of mine ( thanks Lum ) which shows how freaking "modernized" is BolehLand's grasp of English as a language.....KNNCCB, we certainly have come a long,long,long way since the colonial days....

Please read on, however, please take special note that the comments in brackets are mine and entirely mine. They do not reflect the perspective of a nation called BolehLand.....

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in yoursize, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock ( KNNCCB!!! )

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page? ( your mother!! )

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me ( screw me?? )

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No-need, lah. ( yeah riiight!! )

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enterthrough this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar? ( caaaaaaaaann...go to hell for all I care )

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah! ( sure or not? )

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got? ( Where dun have )

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la ( sure or not?? )

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION Britons
Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians:You mad, ah? ( you PIG!! )

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying toconcentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah! ( spot on )

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what? ( wanna kena hentam ar? )

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!! ( TNS! )

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that? ( It's like that loh )

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!! ( thats why you are in Hell and I am in Heaven )

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u ( why not say Hvuck you? )

NOTE: The sohai who wrote this forgot the "P2P" basis....WHAT A SOHAI!!!!!

2 every1 his/her OWN...........................