Couldn't resist posting this screamer which I received via email from a good friend of mine ( thanks Jenny ). A lot of friends have always commented that Golf is a game for old folks...on the contrary, I beg to differ for reasons as stated below:
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....
#10...A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9...You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#8....It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#7...Foursomes are encouraged.
#6...You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#5...Three times a day is possible.
#4...Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#3...If you are able, you can do it almost everyday.
#2...You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....
#1...If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it!
So now you know why Golf is such an "enjoyable" game huh? Golf anyone?
Note: That doesn't mean I don't like sex...I always mix pleasure with pleasure..kekeke
2 every1 his/her OWN..............
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Golf versus Sex
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Heaven On Earth
Lazing about in the sun with the breeze softly tugging at my hair, hammock gently swinging to the rhythm of the waves….without a care to the world..
How I wish that I could spend endless days on the beach which to me is the best”est” place in the world….
A life of a beachcomber is for me. Nothing like waking up to the sound of braying seagulls and cries of the ocean….eternal bliss…
Mornings would be spent greeting the big blue provider, diving and looking at what it has in store for me…a fish or two would make a splendid meal, so would an occasional crab or lobster. Nothing like the smell and taste of freshly cooked seafood….burp!!
The rest of the morning would be spent lying in my faithful hammock with a good book in my hand. The next order for the day would be walking though the foliage looking for firewood. Enough must be gathered to last the day and night.
Another round of diving cum harvesting activity for lunch and dinner should leave me exhausted till sunset. Building a fire for dinner and to keep me warm should be a cinch with the leftover cinders.
Sounds of crackling firewood and rushing waves accompany me as I unconsciously slip into dreamland….the last image etched on my mind would be the millions of sparkling diamonds in the sky, dancing to the tunes of “Starry, Starry Night”……
To me, that is Heaven On Earth……
2 every1 his/her OWN…………………
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Grease Is The Word
“Dance as you Walk” and “Walk as you Dance”….
The above strut thingy was made popular by non other than John Travolta, who coincidently is my all time fav “actor bugger”.
I especially liked his role as Danny Zuko in “Grease” with Olivia Newton John ( Sandy ).
I would also like to shout out loud that GREASE is in the list of my super duper fav show…
I remember the days of VCR…I would watch and watch the show again and again until the bloody video tape konk! I could practically memorise all the lines of Danny, Sandy, The Pink Ladies and T-Birds including singing their songs in my funny and out of tune voice. 
My parents would go bonkers over my affliction and addiction with Grease as would they laugh off their rockers at my antics when I mimicked the actors and actresses complete with detailed sound effects.
I completely fell in love with the songs which were sung, some which are listed below:
Grease
Grease ( reprised )
Sandy ( John Travolta )
Blue Moon ( Sha Na Na )
Hound Dog ( Sha Na Na )
Beauty School Drop Out ( Frankie Avalon )
Tears On My Pillow ( Olivia Newton John )
Greased Lightning
We Go Together
There Are Worst Things I Could Do
Sandy ( Drive In )
You’re The One That I Want
Apart from the songs, there were also some scenes in the movie that will forever be etched in my memory:
The first is when Danny ( T-Birds ) raced “Poker Face” ( The Scorpions ) for Pinks ( ownership of the Pink Ladies ) at Thunder Alley. The run up to the race where the T-Birds were trying their best to build Greased Lightning was superb….hahahaha. Putsie was asking the T-Birds exactly from which car they stole the bumper from and immediately got the shouted answer of “From Your Mother’s” made me laugh till tears ran down my face ( I was about 7-8 years old then ).
The other great scene was at the end where the song “We Go Together” was sung by all the graduates at Rydale High. The dance choreography that followed was top notch!!!
I especially liked the moment where Danny surprised the T-Birds by turning up fully decked in “jock” style. He told them that he was going straight in order to get Sandy when suddenly there were wolf whistles and cat calls all around. Danny turned to see Sandy in a super sexy black outfit which completely outlined her “cun” body. It was there that the song “You’re The One That I Want” was sung…
How I wish they would produce some shows like this nowadays….by saying that, the closest that I have seen thus far is “High School Musical” which by the way is one hell of a production….kudos to the producers and bugger who had the brains to think of such a storyline.
Till today, I have an original VCD and DVD of GREASE in my collection, I even saved a copy in my external hard drive just in case something happens to any one of my treasures…hehehehe.
Long Live Grease and sentimental fools like me………..
2 every1 his/her OWN…………
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
The Art Of Tai Chi
Everyday on my way to work, I see a group of aunties and uncles practicing the ancient art of Tai Chi in a small field near my humble adobe. I would always slow down my car to take a closer look and sometimes flash a smile at them. Nowadays, there are quite a number of Tai Chi appearing in different forms around…..some are for health and some wayward forms are for obtaining fame. Health and Fame? Two different subject matters right? I will try my level best to further elaborate on this:
Tai Chi as defined in wikipedia:
Tai chi chuan (Traditional Chinese: 太極拳; Simplified Chinese: 太极拳; Hanyu Pinyin: tàijíquán; Wade-Giles: t'ai4 chi2 ch'üan2) is an internal Chinese martial art often practiced with the aim of promoting health and longevity. The Mandarin term "tai chi chuan" literally translates as "supreme ultimate boxing" or "boundless fist", but may better translate to "great extremes boxing", with an emphasis on finding balance between two great extremes.
Tai Chi as defined in the working life:
The art of evading problems/mistakes/responsibilities AND beautifully pushing it to a suspecting OR non-suspecting victim. Sometimes the art is used by super Tai Chi Masters to gain a name for himself/herself at another’s expense. It can be said that Tai Chi for work can be also classified as a sinister syndrome, aptly termed as “Attention Seeking Syndrome ( A.S.S.in short )”.
The art of Tai Chi for work cannot be easily learnt as it is taught from generation to generation and it is death to those who betray the family’s secret.
The most super duper dangerous style of Tai Chi known to man in this modern era is a form called I.H. ( named after the person ) Tai Chi also known to everyone as THE MAIN carrier of A.S.S.
It is very sad to see Tai Chi being rampantly used but that’s the way the ball rolls. The victims of Tai Chi have no given choice except to:
1) roll with the ball
2) learn how to Tai Chi the Tai Chi Master ( fight fire with fire )
3) die standing ala mati katak style
What’s worse is the related management is totally oblivious to the Tai Chi tactics around them. This can only happen if:
1) the said management buggers are blind as a bat
2) the said management buggers are also super duper secret Tai Chi Masters themselves
3) the said management buggers don’t know what to do ( blur sotong )
Maybe the victims could live and let die by the tagline of X Files…"The Truth Is Out There" and "Deny Everything".
Are you a victim of work place Tai Chi?
2 every1 his/her OWN…………
Monday, August 13, 2007
True Colours
Below are words that we always take for granted without knowing their true hidden meanings. Read, learn and apply accordingly...........
Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
School: A place where papa, mama pays and son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his Bachelor degree and a woman gains her Masters.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on with nothing being done.
Father : A Banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late, and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.
Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
2 every1 his/her OWN.................
