Friday, October 27, 2006

I got the below excerpt via email, its titled "The Best Places to Eat in KL" me laughing like mad so I thought I'd share this piece of crap mail by posting it on my blog. Btw, the pic on top is of my 2nd kid and has no reference whatsoever to this mail, tot of posting his pic because he enjoys his food a lot..hehehehehe.....anyway, read and laugh away ( I have inserted some comments in RED )

THE BEST PLACES TO EAT IN KL ( should be titled " Places to eat in KL that arsenine authors loves to frequent" )

1. CHOW KOAY TIEW - Jalan Imbi : the corner restaurant which is on the same row with Sakura, and opposite of Honda Kah Motor. Huh??? not Chow Kit belakang mati meh?

2. WANTAN MEE/KARI MEE - End of old Subang airport road, in the Subang New Village Town Centre. Yeah, and have a bloody Fokker land on your head while stuffing your face!

3. TAPIOCA NOODLES & VEGETABLES - Old Klang Road : a shack which is nestled behind a chinese primary school, after the market and the post office (which would be on your left). Whatever!

4. KARI MEE (LEMAK) - SS1, PJ : Alisan Restaurant (2nd shop from corner), facing the Lorenzo Furniture Shop. Alisan la, Sakura la, whatchamightcallit la..the best is wrapped with Banana Leaf.

5. ROAST DUCK RICE - Seapark : Sunrise Coffee Shop.Some say the Ducks are roadkill....look closely and you will see "Bridgestone, 205 x 40 x 18"

6. PRAWN MEE/KARIMEE/CHEE CHEONG FUN - Seapark: Coffee Shop near old Paramount Theatre. Si Boh?

7. CHICKEN RICE - Seapark: Coffee Shop opposite Seapark Market, run by 2 ladies whose husbands have since died. Wah Lan Eh!!!! this author is gooood.....people widowed liao also he knows ar?

8. FISH HEAD BEE HOON - Jln Gasing, PJ. Seng Kee Restaurant, in row of shops behind Lotus Restaurant. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA!

9. MISCELLANEOUS - SS24 Tmn Megah: take the LDP and exit left after the Kelana Jaya LRT Station (towards"SS24").A hawker centre with over 70 hawker stalls (!!) allserving different dishes, no duplicates (!!), which boast the best of each kind in town (!!) not too difficult to locate. People widowed he knows but the name of this misc place he dunno.....? Its called " Meng Thin" of each kind in town? My arse!

10. YONG TAU FU - Ampang New Town/Ampang Village (there are 3 shops, so have your pick) Go pick the police station better

11. PAN MEE - Along Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman behind KahMotors. Huuuh?

12. HOKKIEN MEE - Petaling Street opposite Hong Leong Bank. Penang Hokkien or KL Hokkien? Say properly la...Ka Na Sai!

13. CHAR SIEW RICE - Jalan Tung Shin. Dey, all babi rice taste fine la.

14. NASI KANDAR - Kayu Nasi Kandar Restaurant in Taipan, Subang with a branch in SS2 a coffee shop formerly known as Cheow Yang . Dey, all Kayu taste fine la...go to Penang and makan then only talk!

15. Teh Tarik & roti - Taman Desa next to the water tank. Menggong, Bahlul, Tohyol, Mangkuk Ayan, etc.

16. If money is not an issue - Madam Kwan (Nasi Lemak & curry fish head). What A Donkey! if money no issue then better take a private jet to Japan for Breakfast, then to LAs Vegas fr Lunch and Hawaii for a romantic dinner la !

17. Little Penang (chow Koay Tiew & Prawnmee). Dey, Little Penang is not run by Penagtites la, its run by locals and the food taste like normal KL food ma....arse!

18. Bak kut teh - Jalan Imbi behind hong leong bank. All Babi taste good

19. Satay - Naan Corner in Ampang, in between International School and RSPCA, called Nur Satay. Duuuuuh?

20. Banana Leaf - Kannas in SS2, behind Lisa De Inn hotel. Lisa De Inn? this author must be a screwing kaki la......Banana Leaf behind the screwjoint? just say you are a chonger la.

21. Nasi Lemak - Suzi corner, next to Ampang city (used to be called Kerris). Dummy!

22. Won Ton Mien/Char Siew - Jln Sungai Besi; on the way to PLUS. Only open at 7pm-2am, a car repair shop by day. Wan Tan Mee or 1 ton mee?

23. Beef Brisket noodles - Tengkat Tong Shin; runs parallel to Jalan Alor.Stall near the beginning of the road. Open at night till late. Open at night till late? please explain the EXACT meaning of this sentence? too deep for my Kindergarden education level English comprehension.

24. Char Siew/Chicken rice - Tengkat Tong Shin; further up the road. Old prewar shop house. This has to be the drop dead unhealthiest piece of anything you can insert in your mouth in KL? but to die for. Chicken is strictly as filler to make sure you don't get a heart attack overdosing on char siew. Lantooooi! all babi taste nice.

25. Fish balls - Tengkat Tong Shin; a little further up the road from char siew. Stall inside a coffee shop. This guy is good, look at the amount of people he employs to helpout! Tengkat Tong Shin again...why this author recommend everything near whore houses hah?

26. Hokkien mee (KL style -thick, black, yummy (sounds kinky)) Petaling Street ; at the intersection opposite Hong Leong Bank. Full of porcine goodness. Still the gold standard of Hokkien mee. Gold Standard my arse!

27. Seafood noodles - Segambut; near Auto Bavaria . A big bowl full of noodles and assorted mussels, prawns, cuttlefish, fish etc. for reasonable price. Pick of soup, clear, tom yam, curry. Forget the rest, or for the curry. Soya bean with cincau not bad. Avoid on Sunday mornings.You will wait for an hour. Fried Chicken Rice (only on Weds and Sat)!! There is a branch now open in SS2 Chow Yang, called Restoran Yu Ai with yellow sign board, just a few doors away from Kayu Nasi Kandar. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA....KAYUUUUUUUUUU

28. Ploughman's Lunch ? Finnegan's Seri Hartamas. A big plate filled with a pot of pate, slices of ham, pickle, onion, chunks of cheese, a slab of butter, 4 hunks of bread. If you are EXTREMELY hungry, this one's for you. I think the author better get his arse ploughed

29. Chef's salad - Flagz; behind Souled Out. This salad is as all salads should be - crunchy FRESH veggies, and the dressing is to die for. Easily the best salad in town. And I don't even like salad. Beer is the freshest in town too, great bite. Read the paragraph again......"this salad is as all salds should be" whats so special? yeah, and beer is freshest in town? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

30. Hokkien Mee ( Penang style otherwise known as Prawn noodles) Champ's; Jalan Telawi 3, Bangsar Baru. Standard gone down somewhat recently, but still head and shoulders above all others in KL. You'll have to go to Penang to beat this. I only agree with the statement " u'll have to go to Penang to beat this one"

31. Char Kway Teow Bukit Damansara ; behind Hock Lee supermarket, next to Shell. Corner stall inside coffee shop. Best in KL. The fellow has been frying for longer than I can recall, and he is so good that you may have to wait up to 45 minutes during lunchtime. Doesn't use too much oil almost perfect. As above, you'll have to go to Penang to beat this. Other stalls in the same shop not bad. yeah, the author's mother has a stall there as well.

32. Chicken rice Jalan Gasing; very close to the Federal Highway , same row as Southern Bank 2 shops one in the middle, one in the corner. Can't decide which is superior, but both are very good. Middle one has Ipoh taugeh. the middle one has taugeh and both are good? aaaaaarrrrrrggg!

33. Bak Kut Teh Klang, just about anywhere. Hokkien Association off the main highway leading to the heart of Klang is a good place to start for beginners. all babi taste nice menggong

34. Dim Sum ? Marriott Hotel. Chinese restaurant here serves northern China style dim sum. Easily best dim sum in town. A little pricey. Sohai! go hotel eat Dimsum ar? of course pricey la.....lantooooooi!

35. Fish head off Jalan Sungai Besi; just past Won Ton Mien, turn left right after BP. Three shops clumped together. All look dilapidated but don't worry. Don't know what type of fish they get their heads from, but I suspect fresh water fish. Hot sauce fish head to die for. Extremely reasonable prices. dunno what type of fish they get their heads from...HAHAHHAHAHAA...of course you wouldn't know after getting HEAD ma.

36. Bak Kut Teh Segambut; go past Auto Bavaria , follow road all the way until you see a Chinese temple on your left. Enter the temple courtyard and you will see a tin shack where they serve bak kut teh. Not quite up there with Klang, but nothing to sneeze at. Go for yam rice rather than white rice. Fried Chicken Rice (only on Weds and Sat)!! Dey FOOOL! all babi taste nice laaaaa

37. Nasi Kandar/Kerabu/Laut Taman Tun; the other end of Secret Recipe in a store on the same block, usually with a van outside. Truly Kelantanese style. Only in the morning though. the van outside is used to rush customers to the nearest hospital in case they get food poisoning.

38. Seafood ? Pulau Carey; get to Jalan Banting and follow signs to Pulau Carey. Place called Kang Guan, just before the actual bridge onto the island. Cheap! Seafood cheap at foot up your arse cost nothing...practically free.

39. Nasi Lemak TangLin at Lake Gardens, near the Clinic/Hospital. Only open when government depts open. Huuuh? aaaarrrrrgggggggg!

40. Chicken rice - Bing Restaurant in Sri Rampai. Wait till you drop to eat the chicken rice. Worth it. Aiyooo...come la...let me Bing you nicely la....

Hahahahahahahaa......still can't get over whats written...anyway, 2every1 his/her own....

Whats your taste btw?


minyak angin cap 'kapak' said...

27. Seafood noodles - Segambut; near Auto Bavaria . A big bowl full of noodles and assorted mussels, prawns, cuttlefish, fish etc. for reasonable price.

by your clear conscience, do you consider RM 12+5% service tax per bowl 'REASONABLE'?


Jamie said...

HAHAHAHA...thats a good one m.a.c.k.........the original author has been smitten so much by the tastiness of the seafood noodles to worry about such trifle matter as a 12+5% service tax.....he could be charged 30+10% and will still happily pay ( thru his arse )...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

cutebanana said...

haha, will definitely try out some of the places you mentioned above. will keep in mind the writing in red too...

SK Ding said...

i have ti try it all lah.
ha ha no need to think where to go for food this time (when my girl ask).

SK Ding said...

btw, didn't see anyone mention about the rojak near ss14 shell petrol station.

the touke is damn rich lah, raining also damn lot peoples there.

Jamie said...

sk: u are right, he forgot the rojak liao but come to think of it he also forgot to mention the Nasi Briani beside our office too....and the lack of parking during lunch hours..hehehhe