WHAT IRRITATES????

Been a while since my last post as was quite busy with my last job posting ( pls excuse the lame joke ) to Sudan. Neway, it's good to be back and am still trying to shake off the dreaded writers block.

Since the beginning of my time ( 30 odd years ), I have found that certain things really irritates and irks me off and its my pleasure to share it with you guys.....

Dribblers / Dribbling :-
Ever been in a situation where you go into a public/office toilet....head for the preferred urinal bowl....and ALAKAZAM! you see puddles of dribbles of some arsehole's urine on the floor....just exactly where you were going to adapt your pissing stance! WTF? don't dribblers know that they are not endowed with such long dicks as they think they might have? OR they have a dick with 3 holes....one for shooting in front and the other two for shooting left and right. HEY! aim and shoot straight for God's sake. Pity the cleaner who has to clean up after them....how I wish those dribblers get the same medicine. I also pity those mothers who has a dribbling son.....she has to clean up each and every time the bastard goes to toilet....maaaaan!

Wavey hands :-
That term is used for people who like to wave their hands just to let others know of their dislikes. This wavey hand thingy is best seen during a presence of a smoker ( I myself smoke ). Light up and they will start to put on their sorry looking fucked up faces, start waving their hands left to right as if to clear the air of some imaginary smoke thats choking them. Hey, WHAT THE FUCK! 100% of the smoking population out there knows that smoking will kill them someday dude....SO DOES BREATHING IN CARBON MONOXIDE smart ass! for those wavey hands S.O.B.s out there, Carbon Monoxide is the no odour gas that you guys are breathing in thru your fucking noses every fucking day! and its emitted by the burning of gasoline/petrol/diesel/petrol....u wavey hands know what that means? that means to stop Carbon Monoxide poisoining and to make you motherfuckers live longer, we have to stop using our vehicles, planes, tanks, your mother's car and everything thats using gasoline/petrol/diesel/benzine. My advice to those wavey hands is...please go fuck your own mother/father for starting up their cars in the morning before showing the world that you are choking because of some so called 2nd hand smoke. Yes, no doubt that 2nd hand smoke will kill you ( I do not deny that fact ) but so does every other fucking gas that you are breathing thru your nose...or do the wavey hands breath thru their arse? 100% of the population is health consious nowadays...not just the wavey hands...so just FUCK OFF the next time you see people lighting up OR just stick a fucking Tampon up your fucking nose. Just to let you guys in on a secret k? you know what I will do if I see a wavey hands near me when I light up? I will purposely exhale smoke so that they get a whiff of it. won't do it if they start don't waving their hands...no waving of hands...no exhaling of smoke in their direction...hey, I am a considerate bugger too...very fucking proud to say that my mum taught me well ( except for the smoking part ). So, fuck off far, far, far away wavey hands...go wave your hands at your own ass for all we smokers care....and don't ever fucking wave your freaking hands at me.....see u in HELL!

Names :-
Whats in a name? PLENTY I must say! Your name is you, your personality, your character, your goodname and your reputation. Spoil a bowl of broth is ok but if you spoil your name then you're fucked big time!

Ever came across some buggers with weird names? e.g. Kinky, Horny and such? I saw an ad the other day posted at one of those stalls you see at the supermarket, it reads " Sales Assistant Wanted. Please call Kinky Chong at 01x-xxxxxxx"...HAHAHAHAHA! Kinky? I know that his/her mother got Kinky before they got him...I was laughing my head off and my wife was also laughing along with me. Hey, to have a unique name is ok but not downright weird and obsene. I have an aquaintance who named his daughter "Khatulistiwa" ( Equator ) ...HAHAHAHA..WTF? Equator? why? He wants his daughter to grow up to be "Hot" is it? You can also find lots of funny, weird and foolish names at the Hong Kong Film Star directory....names like Kinky, Rain, Sky, Fish will all appear....by the way, Fish Leong is a Malaysian singer..FISH? HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! what kind...puffer fish? blow fish? well she is welcome to give me a good blow if she wants to.

I can list and list the things that I consider irritating but it will take up too much e-space. Please feel free to insert your comments on the things that ticks you off dudes and dudettes.

2every1 his/her own!!!!

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WANT A RAISE?

It's that time of year again....time of good tidings, drinking, partying, bonuses and with the hope of a good raise from our bosses. Below is an excellent example of what NOT TO SAY when requesting for a raise from your boss ( it also shows their expected replies ):

Read, learn and enjoy...........

I, the Penis ( meaning you ), hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.


Dear Penis ( thats you ):

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stayin your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management


WTF!!? to every1 his/her own.....have a Super Duper Merry Christmas and a Wonderfully Happy New Year...and may the year 2007 bring everything thats good to you and blah, blah, blah, blah...........

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I got this "MALAYSIA BOLEH/BODOH" article from an Australian newspaper called The Age ( http://www.theage.com.au/news/business/while-malaysia-fiddles-its-opportunities-are-running-dry/2006/11/14/1163266550487.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1 ) and the sad thing is, I totally agree with them...anyways, below is the excerpt....ENJOY ( as usual I have inserted some comments captioned in BLUE ):

"MALAYSIA'S been at it again, arguing about what proportion of the economy each of its two main races — the Malays and the Chinese — owns. It's an argument that's been running for 40 years ( The English would use the term "bunch of clods" here bro ).That wealth and race are not synonymous is important for national cohesion, but really it's time Malaysia grew up.It's a tough world out there and there can be little sympathy for a country that prefers to argue about how to divide wealth rather than get on with the job of creating it.

The long-held aim is for 30 per cent of corporate equity to be in Malay hands, but the figure that the Government uses to justify handing over huge swathes of public companies to Malays but not to other races is absurd. It bases its figure on equity valued, not at market value, but at par value.Many shares have a par value of say $1 but a market value of $12. And so the Government figure (18.9 per cent is the most recent figure) is a gross underestimate.

Last month a paper by a researcher at a local think-tank came up with a figure of 45 per cent based on actual stock prices. All hell broke loose. The paper was withdrawn and the researcher resigned in protest. Part of the problem is that he is Chinese. ( No surprises here bro )

"Malaysia boleh!" is Malaysia's national catch cry ( cry my arse...what fucking type of cry is that? you wouldn't hear me say it for all the whores in the world dude ). It translates to "Malaysia can!" and Malaysia certainly can. Few countries are as good at wasting money. It is richly endowed with natural resources and the national obsession seems to be to extract these, sell them off and then collectively spray the proceeds up against the wall.This all happens in the context of Malaysia's grossly inflated sense of its place in the world.Most Malaysians are convinced that the eyes of the world are on their country and that their leaders are world figures. This is thanks to Malaysia's tame media and the bravado of former prime minister Mahathir Mohamad. The truth is, few people on the streets of London or New York could point to Malaysia on a map much less name its prime minister or capital city.As if to make this point, a recent episode of The Simpsons features a newsreader trying to announce that a tidal wave had hit some place called Kuala Lumpur. He couldn't pronounce the city's name and so made up one, as if no-one cared anyway. But the joke was on the script writers — Kuala Lumpur is inland.

Petronas, the national oil company is well run, particularly when compared to the disaster that passes for a national oil company in neighbouring Indonesia. But in some respects, this is Malaysia's problem. The very success of Petronas means that it is used to underwrite all manner of excess.

The KLCC development in central Kuala Lumpur is an example. It includes the Twin Towers, the tallest buildings in the world when they were built, which was their point.It certainly wasn't that there was an office shortage in Kuala Lumpur — there wasn't.Malaysians are very proud of these towers. Goodness knows why. They had little to do with them. The money for them came out of the ground and the engineering was contracted out to South Korean companies.
They don't even run the shopping centre that's beneath them. That's handled by Australia's Westfield. ( HAHAHAHAHA...and here we are so freaking proud because Malaysia Boleh...Hvuck Me Dead )

Next year, a Malaysian astronaut will go into space aboard a Russian rocket — the first Malay in space. And the cost? $RM95 million ($A34.3 million), to be footed by Malaysian taxpayers ( SHIT!!! does that include poor me? I have been paying taxes every year without fail bro ). The Science and Technology Minister has said that a moon landing in 2020 is the next target, aboard a US flight. There's no indication of what the Americans will charge for this, assuming there's even a chance that they will consider it. But what is Malaysia getting by using the space programs of others as a taxi service? There are no obvious technical benefits, but no doubt Malaysians will be told once again, that they are "boleh". The trouble is, they're not. It's not their space program.
Back in July, the Government announced that it would spend $RM490 million on a sports complex near the London Olympics site so that Malaysian athletes can train there and "get used to cold weather".
But the summer Olympics are held in the summer. ( huuuuhh? what the fuck!!! )
So what is the complex's real purpose? The dozens of goodwill missions by ministers and bureaucrats to London to check on the centre's construction and then on the athletes while they train might provide a clue ( here we call it "makan lui"..loosely translated as on the take...HAHAHAHAHA ).
Bank bale outs, a formula one racing track, an entire new capital city — Petronas has paid for them all. It's been an orgy of nonsense that Malaysia can ill afford.Why? Because Malaysia's oil will run out in about 19 years. As it is, Malaysia will become a net oil importer in 2011 — that's just five years
away.

So it's in this context that the latest debate about race and wealth is so sad.
It is time to move on, time to prepare the economy for life after oil. But, like Nero fiddling while Rome burned, the Malaysian Government is more interested in stunts like sending a Malaysian into space when Malaysia's inadequate schools could have done with the cash, and arguing about wealth distribution using transparently ridiculous statistics. That's not Malaysia "boleh", that's Malaysia "bodoh" (stupid)."

Kudos and credit to Micheal Backman ( email: michealbackman@yahoo.com, website http://www.michealbackman.com )

Anyway, 2every1 his/her own......HAHAHAHAHA......Malaysia Bodoh...way to go brother. How I wish that you could bonk about certain obnoxious individuals who are forever present around me. Its because of Malaysia Bodoh's rule that forbids me to knock their fucking blocks off.....KUDOS again bro.

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English!!!! to some it might be a beautiful language but to others it might just be a boring medium of communication. With no offence meant, I would like to show the beauty of this language with a simple demonstration with the below illustration........

WHAT ENGLISH WORD, WHICH IS 9 LETTERS LONG, WILL STILL REMAIN A WORD EACH TIME YOU REMOVE A LETTER FROM IT UNTIL THE LAST LETTER IS LEFT..................................................?

The answer is the word "STARTLING"

1st you remove the letter "L" and it becomes STARTING
next, remove the letter "T" and it becomes STARING
used for tying, remove the "A" and it transforms to STRING
take out the "R" and it will STING
out goes the "T" and it becomes SING
kick out the "G" which is a SIN
take out the"S" and it welcomes you IN
next inline is the"N" leaving us with an I

Anyway, its 2every1 his/her own....as for me, every language has its own inner beauty. The question is how much we are willing to delve and explore in order for the hidden beauty to surface.

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5 + 5 + 5 = 550?

Any solution(s) to the above gross mathematical error? By the way, you must ONLY use ONE SINGLE line to solve the problem.

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I have been keeping this inside of me for quite sometime now.....can't hold it any longer...have to let it all out or I am going to explode...aaaarrrrggg!

It all started one fine and sunny day when a light bulb just lit by itself in my head...bling,bling!! I asked wifey " how about a drive up north to see the old lady ( my grandma ) ?".....""thats a good idea"said she......call your mum as well....."ok" said I.

So started the eventful journey up north...happily cruising along with my family...not having a clue at all of the "thunderstorm" ahead. Arrived at my Grandma's after about 5 hours on the road. She was quite happy to see us.

All in all the old lady is generally ok but we can see that she's quite frail from age. We spent a night there before moving over to Penang for a 2 days stay. Put up at Naza Hotel because of some special previleges that I have there....moreover my kids love the place a lot...it has become like a 2nd home to them.

As usual, I took them to their favourite spots and shopping on the 2nd day. We stopped over at the Burmese and Siamese temple on the way back to pay our respects to my Grandpa and my beloved uncle. Their ashes were kept in cubicles located in a special building behind the main temple. Upon reaching the place I noticed that the new wing has been opened by the temple committee for "so called" advance booking. Knowing how much the old lady loved my departed uncle, I then proposed to my mum that we try to secure a place nearby for them to be together ( at least it won't be so lonely ). My mum said ok and I proceeded to the temple office to make the relevant inquiries. To my delight there was still places available near my uncle so i took the liberty to single out a suitable cubicle and proceeded to place a booking on it.

The general idea that I had was to have all the nephews and nieces to contribute towards the purchase of this cubicle. I foresee that there will be no problem seeing that most of us were already in the workforce. To be safe I called my northern Auntie and my God Sister for their opinion......imagine my joy when they said that it's a good idea to procure the cubicle for Grandma. We calculated that the cost of sharing would be around RM300-Rm400 per person. With that I proceeded to call each and everyone of my cousins ( those who I have their numbers ) and inform them of my intentions. My proposal was generally accepted and it was agreed that we try to cough up the moolah in 2 months time for the purchase of the cubicle.

ZZZeeeuuiit ...Fast forward 2 months in time......dialled a central zone number.....

"ring,ring....ring,ring" Alooooo...is this ( deleted )? Hi, this is Jamie, I am calling you up in regards to the conversation we had 2 months back about Amah's ash storage cubicle.....is it convenient for you guys to bank in the money to ( deleted ) account? She is helping us to liase with the temple committee on this matter.

"Hi Jamie, sorry to tell you but my ( forced to delete...fuck! ) is not happy about this arrangement. He says our money will be put to better use if we all contributed to the renewal of the Indonesian maid's license. In fact he is not at all happy that you took matters in your own hands and pressured everyone to pay"

HVUCK ME DEAD!!!!!! let me recap that statement "pressured everyone to pay?","took matters in your own hands?"...how? by pointing a gun up their arse or by threatening to pump Sarin Gas up their arse? Aloooo...what was my MAIN intention? Don't tell me that by purchasing the cubicle we were all asking Grandma to go to heaven immediately right? Alooooooo....what age are we living in? the bloody medieval age or ice age? Luckily quite a number of my cousins agreed that my proposal did no harm and were in fact good in nature. They were afraid to speak out because of some individual who has a fiery temper...hey bro....I have a super temper too. By the way, lame excuses such as contributing to the maid's license just to bail someone's arse out of shit does not apply at this juncture ( i thought the guy was swimming in moolah? )

My mum and auntie were so pissed!!!! I told my them that its ok...no problemo...let everything be...astalavista baby. Pssssst...let you guys in on a secret...I hate this guy's guts since I was small.....always bullying us little tikes around...I wish to dear God that he would try bullying me around now ( my brother also would like to extend the same invitation to this guy ).

Anyway, to cut a long story short, a lot of us have since come to terms with the reality at hand. So be it if he thinks he is the "Special One". Let him bear for all the funeral expenses when the time comes. His famous quote is "I WILL NOT GET MY CHILDREN INVOLVED"....hahahahahahahaha! its like laughing gas up my arse! When you are old, lonely and dying beside the road then let me hear you say that bro. Everyone has to respect the elderly, no matter which part of the family hierachy you are in.....PERIOD. To me the rest is just cockamamy whachamacallit pure dogshit! I thought my Grandma also loved them unconditionally when they were little brats? Anyway, according to their ( deleted ), Grandma loved me most when I was small.....hey, talk about jealousy in the family. What could I do then, what could I do now....let the particular individual lick my arse to quell his jealousy?

Well, the damaged has been done and cannot be undone no matter what. I pity my mum and auntie who has to take the brunt of this individual's ranting....how I wish that he come and bug me instead of them...hmmmm...so much for wishful thinking. Hey, I was even willing to pay on my ( deleted ) behalf if they were not convenient at that particular point in time and paying me back by interest free RM50 monthly installment is fine with me. Sad to say that this offer has since expired with all that has happened as most of us are paupers now. We have no choice but to rely on the ever righteous "SPECIAL ONE" for whatever expense that may come.

2every1 his/her own..........we are all waiting for when the time comes. Don't mean to be mean ( what a statement "don't mean to be mean"...hahahaha )but the time will come for each and everyone of us right? It's just how prepared and level headed are we to face it.

I would be glad to further elaborate but this blog's capacity wouldn't be able to handle it. Cheerios dudes and dudettes! FYI, I will be going up north this coming Friday to see my beloved Grandma....YAHOOOOOOOOO!

Author's note:
Please be advised that any resemblance to the living or dead was done INTENTIONALLY. He also says that most of you has his number, call him if the need arises..... GET READY TO RUUUUUMMMBLE...IT'S ARSE WHIPPIN TIME!!!!!

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I got the below excerpt via email, its titled "The Best Places to Eat in KL"....got me laughing like mad so I thought I'd share this piece of crap mail by posting it on my blog. Btw, the pic on top is of my 2nd kid and has no reference whatsoever to this mail, tot of posting his pic because he enjoys his food a lot..hehehehehe.....anyway, read and laugh away ( I have inserted some comments in RED )

THE BEST PLACES TO EAT IN KL ( should be titled " Places to eat in KL that arsenine authors loves to frequent" )

1. CHOW KOAY TIEW - Jalan Imbi : the corner restaurant which is on the same row with Sakura, and opposite of Honda Kah Motor. Huh??? not Chow Kit belakang mati meh?

2. WANTAN MEE/KARI MEE - End of old Subang airport road, in the Subang New Village Town Centre. Yeah, and have a bloody Fokker land on your head while stuffing your face!

3. TAPIOCA NOODLES & VEGETABLES - Old Klang Road : a shack which is nestled behind a chinese primary school, after the market and the post office (which would be on your left). Whatever!

4. KARI MEE (LEMAK) - SS1, PJ : Alisan Restaurant (2nd shop from corner), facing the Lorenzo Furniture Shop. Alisan la, Sakura la, whatchamightcallit la..the best is wrapped with Banana Leaf.

5. ROAST DUCK RICE - Seapark : Sunrise Coffee Shop.Some say the Ducks are roadkill....look closely and you will see "Bridgestone, 205 x 40 x 18"

6. PRAWN MEE/KARIMEE/CHEE CHEONG FUN - Seapark: Coffee Shop near old Paramount Theatre. Si Boh?

7. CHICKEN RICE - Seapark: Coffee Shop opposite Seapark Market, run by 2 ladies whose husbands have since died. Wah Lan Eh!!!! this author is gooood.....people widowed liao also he knows ar?

8. FISH HEAD BEE HOON - Jln Gasing, PJ. Seng Kee Restaurant, in row of shops behind Lotus Restaurant. HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA!

9. MISCELLANEOUS - SS24 Tmn Megah: take the LDP and exit left after the Kelana Jaya LRT Station (towards"SS24").A hawker centre with over 70 hawker stalls (!!) allserving different dishes, no duplicates (!!), which boast the best of each kind in town (!!) not too difficult to locate. People widowed he knows but the name of this misc place he dunno.....? Its called " Meng Thin" la...best of each kind in town? My arse!

10. YONG TAU FU - Ampang New Town/Ampang Village (there are 3 shops, so have your pick) Go pick the police station better

11. PAN MEE - Along Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman behind KahMotors. Huuuh?

12. HOKKIEN MEE - Petaling Street opposite Hong Leong Bank. Penang Hokkien or KL Hokkien? Say properly la...Ka Na Sai!

13. CHAR SIEW RICE - Jalan Tung Shin. Dey, all babi rice taste fine la.

14. NASI KANDAR - Kayu Nasi Kandar Restaurant in Taipan, Subang with a branch in SS2 a coffee shop formerly known as Cheow Yang . Dey, all Kayu taste fine la...go to Penang and makan then only talk!

15. Teh Tarik & roti - Taman Desa next to the water tank. Menggong, Bahlul, Tohyol, Mangkuk Ayan, etc.

16. If money is not an issue - Madam Kwan (Nasi Lemak & curry fish head). What A Donkey! if money no issue then better take a private jet to Japan for Breakfast, then to LAs Vegas fr Lunch and Hawaii for a romantic dinner la !

17. Little Penang (chow Koay Tiew & Prawnmee). Dey, Little Penang is not run by Penagtites la, its run by locals and the food taste like normal KL food ma....arse!

18. Bak kut teh - Jalan Imbi behind hong leong bank. All Babi taste good

19. Satay - Naan Corner in Ampang, in between International School and RSPCA, called Nur Satay. Duuuuuh?

20. Banana Leaf - Kannas in SS2, behind Lisa De Inn hotel. Lisa De Inn? this author must be a screwing kaki la......Banana Leaf behind the screwjoint? just say you are a chonger la.

21. Nasi Lemak - Suzi corner, next to Ampang city (used to be called Kerris). Dummy!

22. Won Ton Mien/Char Siew - Jln Sungai Besi; on the way to PLUS. Only open at 7pm-2am, a car repair shop by day. Wan Tan Mee or 1 ton mee?

23. Beef Brisket noodles - Tengkat Tong Shin; runs parallel to Jalan Alor.Stall near the beginning of the road. Open at night till late. Open at night till late? please explain the EXACT meaning of this sentence? too deep for my Kindergarden education level English comprehension.

24. Char Siew/Chicken rice - Tengkat Tong Shin; further up the road. Old prewar shop house. This has to be the drop dead unhealthiest piece of anything you can insert in your mouth in KL? but to die for. Chicken is strictly as filler to make sure you don't get a heart attack overdosing on char siew. Lantooooi! all babi taste nice.

25. Fish balls - Tengkat Tong Shin; a little further up the road from char siew. Stall inside a coffee shop. This guy is good, look at the amount of people he employs to helpout! Tengkat Tong Shin again...why this author recommend everything near whore houses hah?

26. Hokkien mee (KL style -thick, black, yummy (sounds kinky)) Petaling Street ; at the intersection opposite Hong Leong Bank. Full of porcine goodness. Still the gold standard of Hokkien mee. Gold Standard my arse!

27. Seafood noodles - Segambut; near Auto Bavaria . A big bowl full of noodles and assorted mussels, prawns, cuttlefish, fish etc. for reasonable price. Pick of soup, clear, tom yam, curry. Forget the rest, or for the curry. Soya bean with cincau not bad. Avoid on Sunday mornings.You will wait for an hour. Fried Chicken Rice (only on Weds and Sat)!! There is a branch now open in SS2 Chow Yang, called Restoran Yu Ai with yellow sign board, just a few doors away from Kayu Nasi Kandar. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA....KAYUUUUUUUUUU

28. Ploughman's Lunch ? Finnegan's Seri Hartamas. A big plate filled with a pot of pate, slices of ham, pickle, onion, chunks of cheese, a slab of butter, 4 hunks of bread. If you are EXTREMELY hungry, this one's for you. I think the author better get his arse ploughed

29. Chef's salad - Flagz; behind Souled Out. This salad is as all salads should be - crunchy FRESH veggies, and the dressing is to die for. Easily the best salad in town. And I don't even like salad. Beer is the freshest in town too, great bite. Read the paragraph again......"this salad is as all salds should be"....hahahahahaha...so whats so special? yeah, and beer is freshest in town? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

30. Hokkien Mee ( Penang style otherwise known as Prawn noodles) Champ's; Jalan Telawi 3, Bangsar Baru. Standard gone down somewhat recently, but still head and shoulders above all others in KL. You'll have to go to Penang to beat this. I only agree with the statement " u'll have to go to Penang to beat this one"

31. Char Kway Teow Bukit Damansara ; behind Hock Lee supermarket, next to Shell. Corner stall inside coffee shop. Best in KL. The fellow has been frying for longer than I can recall, and he is so good that you may have to wait up to 45 minutes during lunchtime. Doesn't use too much oil almost perfect. As above, you'll have to go to Penang to beat this. Other stalls in the same shop not bad. yeah, the author's mother has a stall there as well.

32. Chicken rice Jalan Gasing; very close to the Federal Highway , same row as Southern Bank 2 shops one in the middle, one in the corner. Can't decide which is superior, but both are very good. Middle one has Ipoh taugeh. the middle one has taugeh and both are good? aaaaaarrrrrrggg!

33. Bak Kut Teh Klang, just about anywhere. Hokkien Association off the main highway leading to the heart of Klang is a good place to start for beginners. all babi taste nice menggong

34. Dim Sum ? Marriott Hotel. Chinese restaurant here serves northern China style dim sum. Easily best dim sum in town. A little pricey. Sohai! go hotel eat Dimsum ar? of course pricey la.....lantooooooi!

35. Fish head off Jalan Sungai Besi; just past Won Ton Mien, turn left right after BP. Three shops clumped together. All look dilapidated but don't worry. Don't know what type of fish they get their heads from, but I suspect fresh water fish. Hot sauce fish head to die for. Extremely reasonable prices. dunno what type of fish they get their heads from...HAHAHHAHAHAA...of course you wouldn't know after getting HEAD ma.

36. Bak Kut Teh Segambut; go past Auto Bavaria , follow road all the way until you see a Chinese temple on your left. Enter the temple courtyard and you will see a tin shack where they serve bak kut teh. Not quite up there with Klang, but nothing to sneeze at. Go for yam rice rather than white rice. Fried Chicken Rice (only on Weds and Sat)!! Dey FOOOL! all babi taste nice laaaaa

37. Nasi Kandar/Kerabu/Laut Taman Tun; the other end of Secret Recipe in a store on the same block, usually with a van outside. Truly Kelantanese style. Only in the morning though. the van outside is used to rush customers to the nearest hospital in case they get food poisoning.

38. Seafood ? Pulau Carey; get to Jalan Banting and follow signs to Pulau Carey. Place called Kang Guan, just before the actual bridge onto the island. Cheap! Seafood cheap at Carey....my foot up your arse cost nothing...practically free.

39. Nasi Lemak TangLin at Lake Gardens, near the Clinic/Hospital. Only open when government depts open. Huuuh? aaaarrrrrgggggggg!

40. Chicken rice - Bing Restaurant in Sri Rampai. Wait till you drop to eat the chicken rice. Worth it. Aiyooo...come la...let me Bing you nicely la....

Hahahahahahahaa......still can't get over whats written...anyway, 2every1 his/her own....

Whats your taste btw?

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Perhaps the only generally accepted form of cannibalism is when humans eat the flesh of other humans in an attempt to stay alive in adverse and desperate situations. Survival cannibalism is rare and explicable in many cases, yet is still an act that is often punishable by law. There have been several prominent cases of survival cannibalism over the last two hundred years, including that of the Donner Party expedition and the more recent cases that occurred in the Andes Mountains following a plane crash.

In 1846, a group of eighty-nine men, women and children led by a man named George Donner set out across the Sierra Nevada Mountains enroute to California. During the trek, the weather took and unexpected turn and they were forced to take an alternative route. The travelers began to run out of food and other resources. Many died from exposure and starvation.
Half of the travelers perished before the remaining people eventually succumbed to their situation and began to feed on the flesh of the dead in an attempt to survive. The forty-six survivors were eventually rescued, however upon reaching civilization they were regarded as monstrous criminals and tried for their actions. The travelers served around six months before they were re-released back into their communities.

In 1972, a group of rugby players, their friends and families left on an airplane for Chile from Urugua. The plane crashed into the snow-covered Andes Mountains killing thirteen of the forty-five passengers onboard the aircraft. Many of the passengers died over the weeks from crash-related injuries. Without any provisions, those left alive resorted to cannibalizing the dead. Those who refused to eat the human flesh died of starvation. After seventy days in the mountains, sixteen survivors were rescued and taken home.

Even in the most extreme cases, the act of cannibalism is treated with scorn and disgust by many cultures and is sometimes punishable by social ostracization, institutionalization in a mental facility, arrest, incarceration or even death. Cannibalism is most commonly believed to be the epitome of savage behavior. Although disease and religion have greatly diminished the practice, it continues to be practiced worldwide.

Disorganized cannibalistic practices amongst criminals have been steadily increasing over the last century, especially in the Western Hemisphere. Lawmakers around the world have been forced to update laws pertaining to cannibalism or establish new laws where none existed before. Criminal cannibalism has become the concern of the future.

As for me, I think that survival cannibalism exist in each and everyone of us...it is the animal instinct that we were born with coupled with ones personal will to survive...........2every1 his/her own.....to live or to die?

Credits:
tonyrogers.com and crimelibrary.com

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Tolerance....what a word! As mentioned in my profile....I am quite a hot head but soft at heart.

During the past month or so, I have learnt to rely a lot on "Tolerance". Tolerance has turned into a great friend to me.....Tolerance was there during my times of need ( the need to wallop someone named after an animal that people of the Muslim faith consider taboo ). So much so that to me Tolerance has taken on a visual form......a feminine and sexy form...okkkkkkk! so much for Tolerances' form...next thing you will be asking me if Tolerance is fully clothe and what are her bloody vital statistics and if I have had sex with her before....sheeeesh!

Seriously, I need to thank the Lord for changing the temperamental aspect of my behaviour ( compared to when I was schooling ). No doubt, I am still a hot head...that I do not deny BUT at least now I will think it over before getting myself into an argument. That and also coupled with the fact that I have 2 wonderful boys and a beautiful wife has also automatically kept my temper in check.

My problem is that of late, I feel that I am slowly but surely loosing my self control......maybe my brain needs a shock treatment to lead it back on track or some drastic reprogramming asap. I think the world bloody world knows that I hate this particular guy's guts like hell, even the very sight of him makes me take an about turn and walk the other way. God knows that I have tried my best to avoid the particular MF ( translated as "Motherfu&ker )......arrrrg! but he keeps popping up in front of my face! aiyooooooooo!

Please understand that I am not blaming this MF....its not his fault that he was born with a MF face, not his fault that he has a high pitched shit tone irritating sort of voice thats sound like someone who is talking out of his arse and its surely not his fault for accidentally irritating me every freaking bloody time! Its mine! Its all my fault! My greatest concern is that someday I might also accidentally call on the Taekwondo 4th Dan Black Belt in me to confront the MF.....by then it will be too late! Please understand that I am not showing off or anything like that.....I feel the need to write this post because its very important ( to me ) at this particular point in time. Trust me, I know what the repercussions are if I were to take a swing at the MF.

Maybe its time for me to sign up for an Anger Management course or get myself immersed in some therapedic treatment or just take leave and go somewhere for a change of atmosphere. Whatever the choice may be, I must first go for a confession session before anything else....hehehehehehe.

Anyway, 2every1 his/her own and maybe...just maybe.....I might treat everyone to a non sactioned title fight....who knows? Only time will tell.

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Ever heard the phrase "GO TO HELL" or "IT's SO HEAVENLY" or something along that line? Well, I had the chance to receive a splendid email defining the EXACT meaning of Heaven and Hell. Below is the excerpt from that particular mail for all to share......

"The following is an actual question given on a Washington State University chemistry exam.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic absorbs heat)?Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:-
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,Extinct...... Leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,Teresa kept shouting"OH MY GOD."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" .

By that, I perceived that a lot of us now has a clearer picture of what is Heaven and what is Hell right?

So? where would you wanna be?

2every1 his/her own.........................OH MY GOD!

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Been reading the newspapers and it got me thinking on what the hell is going on nowadays..........where has all the moral values and human virtues gone??!!!!

Also been talking to friends over a couple of beers and found out that its quite a norm these days for what we term it as "THE PREDATOR AND ALIEN" syndrom. Let me elaborate a bit on this so called syndrom. In my line ( construction & projects ) there are the subcontractors and suppliers...they are the ALIENS. On the other side there are the Consultants, Main Contractors and Project Management companies....these we classify as PREDATOR(S).

A friend of mine informed us that his Boss just got a death threat.......the reason was the Predator Boss ( herein referred to a "A" ) tried to hvuck around with the payments due to some pitiful, ignorant and illiterate Aliens who were working for him. The reason for this anomality was......payments to Predator A was witheld by a fellow Predator Consultant ( herein reffered to as "B" ). That is why Predator A though it was fair to pass on this shortfall to the ignoramous Aliens on his payroll as he will be minimizing his risk and will be maximizing his profits if the bottom of the project falls out. What he didn't have was the simple foresight to bloody foresee the repercussions that normally comes with hvucking around with people/humans/homosapiens........

At first we didn't understand what the fuss was all about.....really got hvuck by my friend before he started to explain. Please read his elaboration below......FYI I recorded it and typed it out word for word :

" WHAT LE FUCK! YOU BUNCH OF STUPID HOLES....SIMPLE THING LIKE THAT OSO DUNNO MEH? DUNNO, DUN WANNA UNDERSTAND OR WHAT? NEVER GO TO SCHOOL AR? AIYAAAAAA...WHY SO MENGNGONG? OK LAH...LET ME EXPLAIN IT TO YOU LA.....GIVE YOU A SAMPLE OK? NOW YOU WORKING IN A COMPANY RIGHT? THEY GIVE YOU PENCIL, PEN, HAILIGHTER, PAPER, COMPUTER, PHOSTAT MACHINE, TOILET PAPER, ETC ALL TO USE RIGHT?

Of course!...we answered in unison.

OKOKOK...NOT SO LOUD LA...MY EAR OSO PAIN LIAO LA...SO DAMN NEAR OSO TALK SO LOUD...YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER NEVER TEACH YOU MEH? BACK TO THE SUBJECT K?......LETS SAY THAT YOU THINK THAT ITS NORMAL FOR THE COMPANY TO GIVE YOU EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED TO USE FOR WORKING RIGHT? BUT AT THE END OF THE MONTH THEY POTONG ( CUT ) YOUR SALARY FOR THE THINGS THAT THEY GIVE YOU, WHICH YOU SUPPOSED TO USE DAILY, WHICH YOU THINK WERE TO BE SUPPLIED FOC ....HOW WILL YOU FEEL AR? AIYAAAAAA....HOW AR? DIE LAH THIS TIME...I HEAR THE LETTER GOT SAY THEY WANT TO KIDNAP MY BOSS CHILDREN AND RAPE HIS WIFE, MOTHER AND GLANMOTHER OSO WOH....HOW LAH? I SCARED THE RAPE ME OSO WOH...MY HOLE STILL VIRGIN WOH! HEY HOW LAH...YOU FELLOWS NOT YET ANSWER ME MA.....HOW YOU FEEL IF YOUR SALARY GET POTONG"ED" AT THE END OF THE MONTH BECAUSE OF USING THE COMPANIES THINGS TO DO WORK. FOR ME, I WILL GET VELY, VELY ANGRY OSO WHAT! THINK I AM SOHAI AR? THINK I AM BANK NEGARA AR? THINK I GOT SHARE IN THE COMPANY TO FINANCE THE PROJECT AR? FULAT! AIYOOO......I OSO TIU LIKE MAD WHEN MY CLAIM LATE SOMEMORE POTONG MY SALARY AR? HOW CAAAAN? YOU GUYS HOW AR? WHAT YOU THINK AR?

We answered in unison...." No comment" as we have not come across the said situation before. We also advised him to elephant/epoxy glue up his arse.

AIYAAA....MATI KONGKEK LIAO LA THIS TIME.....I OSO DONT UNDERSTAND WHY MY BOSS WANT TO DO THAT TO THE SUBCON. THEY NOT SO SMART LIKE ME MA....NEVER STUDY SO HIGH MA...THEY OSO CANNOT TALK ENGLISH SO GOOD LIKE ME MA.....WHAT MY BOSS SAY THEY OSO DUN UNDERSTAND, JUST SHAKE HEAD UP AND DOWN ALL THE TIME. GET P.O. OSO DUNNO WHAT THE P.O. GOT WRITE. IF P.O. SAY THAT THEY AGREE TO GIVE THE WIFE, MOTHER AND GLANMOTHER OSO THEY DUN KNOW....JUSY BLINDLY ACCEPT AND SIGN WITH THEIR CHEAP IMITATION PORSHE DESIGN PEN ( THEY TELL ME THEY BUY IN TIONGCOCK ( CHINA )...VELY CHEAP...30 PIECES ONLY RM20 ONLY LAAA). VELY SUSAH LA LIKE THIS. THATS WHY I EVERYDAY TELL MY CHILDREN...STUDY HARD, BIG LIAO CANNOT LET PEOPLE PLAY BEHIND HOLE MA. MY BOSS SAY HE WILL PAY THE ALIENS ONLY WHEN PREDATOR "B" PAY HIM.....UP TO HIM LOH.....IF HE THINK MONEY IS EVERYTHING. FOR ME, MONEY IS VELY, VELY IMPORTANT BUT I DUN BLUFF PEOPLE TO GET MONEY MA......MY MOTHER TEACH ME THAT THING WHEN I WAS JUST A "SIAO HAI" TO MAKE SURE I DUN GROW UP TO BE A SOHAI.

Of course.....we answered in unison

ANYWAY, I OSO HEAR THAT PEOPLE CAN GET SUBCON KILLER IN THAICOCK FOR RM2,000 ONLY AR? THEY COME TO MALAYSIA NO NEED TO CHOP PASSPORT ONE WOH. THEY VISIT YOU AT YOUR HOUSE OR PLACES YOU NORMALY GO TO AND SHOOT YOU...TRUE AR? RM2,000 ONLY CAN GET SUBCON TO KILL YOU WITH A BULLET MEH? AIYOOOOO...WHY THIS WORLD LIKE THAT LIAO? SI BEH TENSION MA. MY BOSS HE VELY BRAVE MAN WOH...HE NO KIASI OR KIASU ONE....VELY RESPECT HIM MA. WILL GUARANTEE BUY FLOWER FOR HIM WHEN HE DIE.....HAVE TO START SAVING MONEY NOW BECAUSE NOT MUCH TIME LEFT.....FULAT!

"dunno and don't hvuck care" we answered in unison.

FUCK HIM LAH....LET HIM DIE LA....DUN WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM LIAO...MAKE ME NO MOOD TO YAM SENG ONLY...AIYAAA...COME YAM SENG LA...YAM SENG TO MY BOSS LA.....WISH HE WILL GET WHAT IS COMING TO HIM LA! ALAMAK....BEER OSO FINISH OLEDI....WOI! WAITER...BRING 6 MORE JUGS CAN AR...CARLSBERG OK? FASTER AR AND OSO BRING MY 555 BOOK.

( we think he meant that as payment from the Consultant firm )...anway....YAAAAAAAAM SSEEEEEEEEEEEENG and 2 every1 his/her own.

Whats your opinion by the way?

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A disturbing piece of news that I received today prompted me to copy and post this thoughtfully written note:

I AM THANKFUL: FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME .

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH. .

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

2every1 his/her own...............................................

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BLOGS!!!! the in thing nowadays. A place where one can voice out what is on their mind, share information, knowledge and the list is infinite.

People sometimes ask me if I am not afraid getting "caught" for what I write in my blog......my answer is WTF ( generally translated as WHAT THE FUCK )!

What f*#king proof that they have that its written by me? So what if they can trace it back to my IP address or my mac address for that matter? Could there be any possibility that someone used my comp while I was away and posted my handsome picture on the blog? Maybe a pervert likes to keep my pics on his/her comp and started a blog using my name right? The possibility is endless, thats why I always say "WTF".

One good thing came out of this is that I have learnt to respect someone who actually acknowledged his flaws on the net and apologised for it....not many homosapiens can do that...for that I salute the person in question.

My sincere advise to all of you out there who has interest to start a blog is....PLEASE DO! No one has the right to deny you your rights. Don't be too afraid of repercussions ( there might be )...hey, this might be just the only avenue for you to express yourself as well as keeping sane.

Recently there has been rumours that the Goverment is trying to advice bloggers what to write and what not to write in their blogs...my answer is a BIG "WTF"! Even communist countries don't practise that! Can freedom of speech on the net be curbed? I do not think so...a surefire way to curb it is to BAN internet altogether, BAN the freaking media as well, start distributing propaganda leaflets and might as well start World War 3 while they are at it.

Up theirs and anyone else's if they think that it is in their power to stop people's God given right.....2every1 his/her own....period!!!!

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Do you feel like drowning sometimes with the escalating cost of living? don't know about you but I DO!!!! that fact coupled with the yearly increments that one MIGHT get from the company.....sometimes makes one feel like commiting Hara Kiri...F*CK! Let's do some simple calculations ok? here goes nothing...1 increment x 100 inflated items = A gaping arse ( correct me if I am wrong ).

Bonuses and Increments are a norm for discussion come year end.....some might be contented and some might be deflated but what can one do? it's the way of life, the culture that we have no choice but get ourselves adapted to or else its the famous" GET YOUR BLOOMING ARSE OUT OF THE DOOR" / " NOBODY IS INDESPENSIBLE " response.

How many of you guys have actually voiced out your displeasure to "higher" beings? I think not many of us will have the balls required to do so for the fear of repercussion(s) right?....HEY! for every blooming action, there is an equal an opposite reaction.....in other words...DO YOU WANNA DIE? I can 110% say that not everyone who is well off will understand the needs of normal homosapiens like us.....some of them were not even born with a silver spade in their arse but time and figures in their bank accounts have already blurred their visions about the hardships and frustrations that one has to face making ends meet or feeding their kids or servicing the house/car loan. Approach them and you might get a ticking off for not knowing how to friggin manage your monthly expenses......" who bloody told you to drive a 1.6/2.0 litre car? " So? freaking bicycle to work is it? Hey, to tell the truth I don't fucking mind dude....better then to get slapped with unwarranted parking summons. There are some companies which has even calculated the amount of expenditure that one is supposed to utilize for a certain period of time, bloody zone out each individuals working area and allocated a fixed amount for what I term it as " the HOLE lump sum ( HOLE in my arse is more like it )". So? a certain fixed amount might be adequate for certain people doing certain type of work but can it be generalised for all? "F" me dead dude! for example can it be generalise that having sex twice a week be adequate for the whole f&Ck*ng world? Some buggers need to have sex 3 times a day just to keep their blooming eyes open! 2 glasses of beer is more than enough for some but for others they require 2 freaking barrels just to look sane! Anyway, I rest my case....2every1 his/her own. I am just a normal person, trying my best to live an ordinary life. Bottoms up / Cheers / Yam Seng / Kan Pei to each and everyone who is of the same situation like me...............like the Roman Gladiators used to say "WE WHO ARE ABOUT TO DIE.....SALUTE YOU" and "UP YOURS" to those who deserve it.

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Plucked this from one of my emails.....i know this China Girls syndrome is super popular nowadays. For you Romeos out there, this is one hell of a super way to confirm a lay....read and learn :

I got this frend Ahpek, he just got to know one China Piao mei who is in Malaysia on "vacation" so after a few days going out with this Piao mei then one day Ahpek asked the Piao mei :

Ahpek : Piao mei ar ... we go out so many days ledi wor .... when you wanna lemme wat wat u jek?
Piao mei : Ahpek ar .... you so fast wanna wat wat me meh? I only know you for a few days only worrr
Ahpek : a few days still not long enuff to show my sincerity meh? I really lafu you wan worr
Piao mei : Still not enuff ler .... there is something you havent done yet ler ....
Ahpek : What is that jek? faster tell me ... i fast fast go do!
Piao mei : All my frends mia bf all got buy them jewelry wan wor ... but you ...
Ahpek : Say no more! I bring you go buy now!

Ahpek then bring Piao mei go Kedai Emas Poh Kong .... you should see the glow on Piao mei's face when she enters Poh Kong dat time.




As Ahpek enters the shop, he loud loud tok to the small counter clerk :

Ahpek : Eh ... ask your Manager come! I want buy diamond ring for my gf!

Later the Manager come with 2 packs of Drinho Packet drink ....

Manager : Boss, sit down and have a drink first ... we slow slow tok ok?
Ahpek : Eh lu Manager har? then bring me a very spesel diamong ring! i wanna buy for my pretty gf here.
Manager : Wuah! you really "sik foh" (know your stuffs) ... know how to come to our place asking for diamond ring! our diamond ring very fehmes wan! Nah boss .... this one 3 carats, very shinny diamond .... after discount i gibe lu RM5,000 ok anot?
Ahpek : I think you no skool much wan la! which part of " Very Spesel" you dont understand? 3 carat?!!! My maid's diamond ring also more than 3 carats la!!!
Manager : Wuahh!!!! very little peeple so expert like you wan ler boss! I like you very much! Nah what about this? this wan 5 carats .... after discount RM13,000 only.
Ahpek : What discount discount? I dunwan those got discount discount wan! bring me something without discount!


Manager : Wuahh!!! ok ok I understand ledi boss! You really come to the right place liow! I recomen you this 10 carats diamond ring! This ring last time owned by itu HK Singer Kenny B mia ex wife wan ... this one made from the precious blue diamond from Egypt, only our shop got this! This one knot gibe discount ... the price is RM90,000
Ahpek : Hmmm ... lidis lar i like! come come lemme take a look

*Ahpek then pass it to the Piao mei and ask her :*

Ahpek : How baobei? you like this one anot? last time Kenny B's ex wife also wear before wan leh ...
Piao mei : I like Ahpek! I like!

*Ahpek then pass back the ring to the Manager and said :*

Ahpek : ok la ... I take this one ... just now you said RM90,000 izzit ?
Manager : Yes boss, RM90,000 .... no discount
Ahpek : Ok lar .. my gf here love the ring very much .... i take it la!
Manager : Tenkiu boss!!! How would you like to pay? with Cash or card boss?
Ahpek : Cash? lu siao har? who walk on the street with 90k in their poket wan?
Manager : soli soli ... then you pay card izzit?
Ahpek : Pay card??!!! you know how high is the interest anot??!! diu!
Manager : Then?
Ahpek : Lidis lar .. I give you cek ok? you no need to gimme the ring 1st .... today is saturday mah bank alredi closed so u wait till monday only go bank take money la! the cek cleared ledi only i come and take the ring ok anot?
Manager : Ohhh ... lidat ok la! ok set boss, later monday your cek cleared ledi I will call you to come and take the ring ok?
Ahpek : dont call so early hor! I dont wakeup till 12pm wan.
Manager : Yes sir! I know sir.

*Then Ahpek issued the cek and hand it over to the Manager then Ahpek and Piao mei left the shop ...... 2 days later (Monday) the Manager called Ahpek on his handphone : *

Manager : Oi Cilaka lu! your account left RM18.02 only la! Diu! you where got money to buy a RM90,000 ring??!!!
Ahpek : I know my account no money wor ... I pretend to wanna buy my gf the ring only mah ... Knot ah?
Manager : Wuah you farker! If your gf know you are dem pokai I sure she will dump 9 u straight away!
Ahpek : AAhhh .... dat one I know ledi laa ... tell you something you derno lar .... you know how nice she serbis-ED me on Saturday and Sunday anot?


WUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!


WARNING : Kids, pls dont try this on your own ok? Ahpek is a trained propesionel .... hes higly trained to do this kinda stunts wan ..... if you are not highly trained like him, you might end up getting vietnam rose or saigon trumpet wan! Dun say i neber warn you ok?! 2 every1 his/her own

Sorry to say tha the "funny" sort of written english is only comprehensible to residents of Malaysia and Singapore only........

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Swish Swoosh....Swish Swoosh..poof..poof...pooooof!! There! finally finished dusting off the cobwebs from my blog. Have to apologise for the long period of inactivity cause been quite bogged down with oversea assigments.....even had a case of writers "blog" ( couldn't resist the pun...hehehe ). Anyway I have posted a photo of mua which was taken in Shanghai ( no need to look with a magnifying glass....my zipper is in the up and locked position )....forgot the name of the place where I took this photo though.

Shanghai is a very beautiful place with beautiful people albeit the widespread commercialization and dusty atmosphere. One can get superb "original" imitation products here but one have to be careful of the conmen, pickpockets and beggars who congregate in abundance waiting for the chance to "ambush" an unsuspecting prey. I was there with my colleague and a couple of clients of mine.....we visited Shanghai after stopping over at Dalian ( another beautiful and serene place ). Sad to say that 2 of my clients fell prey to conmen who approached them with the offer of high quality imitation goods at dirt cheap prices. They were led away by the conmen to some obscure backlane ( till today I still wonder at the size of their balls which must be like 16 lbs reactive bowling balls....each! ), passed 2 locked and guarded doors and finally into a room where other preys were ooooohing and aaaahing over the imitation goods. They told me afterwards that it was at that point where the uncomfortable feeling started to creep in...........after some time wasting tastics, coupled with an Oscar winning performance by the 2 in question, they then tried to politely decline buying the goods but to no avail. They each ended up paying double the market rate for cheap looking fakes which you won't even give to your ex ( some might ).....but wait! the story doesn't end here....they were then led to a adjourning sleazy joint for......BINGO! you got it right the first time....GIRLS!!!!!!

The selection process is thus:
A girl enters ( scantily dressed ), shakes your hand, intro herself, orders a drink from the Bar, smiles and bats her eye lids at the same time giving you an eyeful of her assets as well......then the captain will ask if she to your taste? NO? out she goes and in comes another chinese beauty. The said process takes only 5 minutes tops! My poor clients were there for about an hour plus and ended up paying nearly 500USD for the drinks only.....sheeesh.....talk about being fleeced! Couldn't help much as they were warned to be careful beforehand....anyway 2 every1 his/her own right? I wish that they could have taken some photos of the scantily dressed ladies of the night for oogling purposes after their ordeal....hmmm wonder what I would have done if I were to be in their place.

Anway, I fully recommend everyone a trip there at least once. Shopping/spending money is a must...even if you are not the buying type. I plan to bring my wifey there next year together with a few of my colleagues.....hafta to start saving from now....hmmm....I wonder if my company's bonus and increment will be better this time round?

ALOOOOO...talk about bonus and increments.....will have it as my next post topic ( anticipating loads of "anonymous" comments ). till the next time.....here is wishing all of you to be in the Pink of Health and Warm of Day!

Sayonara for now.........................

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Just got back from a super getaway with my company. Kudos to the organizer(s) for putting together such a nice package.

The place which we went to is very famous worldwide for its beaches, historical landmarks, beautiful people, splendid shopping, bombs, etc. Did I "accidentally" wrote the word "BOMBS"? Sad to say that the beautiful place that we went to was riddled with terrorist attacks. I was wondering to myself....what kinda message were they trying to get across? was it about religion? or was it for some of their forgotten colleagues? I presumed that it can't be for the money because the influx of tourist to the particular place in question is quite spectacular in number. No doubt, bombing and killing "foreigners" will attract a lot of media attention BUT will the end result be achieved? I am very sad to say that the epitome " 2 every1 his/her OWN" really apllies here.

I was walking around and came across a few sloganed T-Shirts with the words " FUCK TERRORIST" and MAAAAN was I tempted to buy 1 for myself but did not have the balls to be a mobile advertising billboard for the fear of really losing my balls. Even when roaming the streets at night, I could see that some places were a hive of activity BUT one will get a sense of earieness when walking pass those so called drinking holes/happening places as we were quite taken aback seing that they were only packed with tourist...where the hell did the locals go? Did they get an early warning of another bomb attack? or all of them happened to go home at the same time for their own bombing in the toilet prior to us walking pass? Really gave me the creeps.

Hey, why go kill a booming economy by bombing? is the influx of tourist such a bad influence? even prostitution rakes in foreign currency right? I know that I will get fried for this statement but here goes nothing.........most of us will be surprised that prostitution can be considered one of the main contributor to certain economies ( if their takings can be revealed without any taxation ...hehehehe ) but hey, 2 every1 his/her OWN.

Anyway, at least I know that me and my fellow colleagues have contributed indirectly to their livelyhood by spending a lot of our hard earned cash buying items we consider(ed) "SUPER BARGAINS" and of which 80% knowingly will end up in the use later heap.

It was great spending quality time with my colleagues, it was great knowing who will turn into "the Devil" after a few mugs of beers, it was great knowing the other side of everyone, it was great letting loose and acting the goose, etc. I hope that it was as great for all of you as it was for me. Looking forward to future getaways........a team building program would be good....what say all of you guys and gals in question?

Cheerios!!!

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Of Respect and Prerogative(s)........

Sometimes I wonder how much does it cost someone to SMILE and say GOOD MORNING to his fellow human beings? what does it cost? respect, humility, money? Very sad to say that such persons do exists and sometimes....just sometimes they do become a bane to a conductive enviroment ( be it at home or in the office ).

Hey,I know that it is each and every individuals' prerogative to greet or not to greet but what the hell! doesn't do anyone good if he/she comes into the office looking like a sex deprived maniac or looking like someone who has a leech up their arse to bloody open up their cavity medically termed as "mouth". Anyway, as my blog says....2 every1 his/her own! Just go be stupid elsewhere!

Some people might purposely look that way to earn the RESPECT of his/her peers but do they ever stop to think that people might just hate to see their faces looking like shit every morning? For me respect is EARNED and not otherwise. I have seen a lot of pansies sucking up to their superiors just to get certain benefits but it is of course again their prerogative. Even family members have been seen sucking up to richer counterparts just to get some handouts but hey, it is again their prerogative. I am very glad that my parents brought me up the way I am, I don't beg, borrow and do any sucking up. I might not be the guy that everyone likes but what the hell, there is only one me...I just have to accept the fact that some people might like me and some people might dislike me....but hey, to every1 his/her own right?

Anyway, as I have said, RESPECT HAVE TO BE EARNED and it does not come automatically with any position ( BULLSHIT!!!! ). Superiors might be superiors, people might just tolerate them NOT respect...those are 2 different things. Out of respect, individuals will die for any registered body that they are attached to but toleration gets the coporation nowhere.

Seriously hoping that individuals who thinks they can get respect just by looking stern or looking like somebody close has just passed away, will take 1 minute off their worthless time every morning to look in the mirror and ponder if their papas/mamas would like them looking like donkey crap.

By the way dudes and dudettes, let me end this with a SMILE and a shout of GOOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAAAAAAAM!!!!!!

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On Medication and Medical Benefits....thank God that most of the companies nowadays provide medical benefits for their employees ( albeit the rising cost of medication ).

Remember I said that I was down in the dumps for about a week before this? Well, in that week alone, I frequented my company's appointed medical practitioner about 4 times with the same complaint each and everytime....."I am getting worse Doc", " Could you give me something stronger Doc", "Doc this la", "Doc that la", "Wassup Doc la", etc.....but it was to no avail. So, I ended up on the company's downtime list because I had to take 2 days off. Finally had the strength to report for work after 2 days konking in bed ( without sex mind you ). All that was after visiting another GP ( not appointed panel ), to get a super dose of 80mg of penicillin jab and some super strong antibiotics ( By the way, my arse is still aching from the jab ).

Its very good that companies are looking after the welfare of their staffs nowadays but my question to the above ( after a week of suffering ) is:

-Could all of this be avoided in the first place if the appointed panel had given me appropriate meds for my condition rather than their allowed budgetary condition ( set by the company )?
-Wouldn't it be more prudent if the downtime for employees be reduced rather then to waste numerous trips to the clinic?

Thar She Blooooooows!!!!! The Doc for our appointed panel actually told me that they will be queried if the bill is too high. BADABOOM...it hit me like a sock full of tuna, here I am getting myself listed under losstime because the appointed GP is scared to prescribe me proper medications? Here I was suffering for 5 days, walking around like a bloody zombilized Power Puff Girl just because some twerp GP is scared to issue me proper Meds? What the hell...I really rest my case...ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong dudes and dudettes, my company is quite ok in terms of benefits. I just feel that the selection process of appointed medical panels be more stringent and specific.

HEY! less downtime = more productivity = more profits right?

Comments anyone?

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