Friday, June 29, 2007

Famous Quotes for Alcohol

DRUNK TEST
LOOK AT THE ABOVE "LENG LUI" PICTURE BEFORE YOU READ ON........THEN TELL ME THAT YOU ARE NOT DRUNK TO BEGIN WITH..............YEAH RIGHT!
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Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not"
~ Stephen Wright
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers One afternoon to his buddy Norm about the Buffalo Theory. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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To end this Famous Quotes thingy, below are some examples of Famous Warnings :
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you ( when they are actually laughing AT you )
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex.


2 every1 his/her OWN.........GO FIGURE!


3 comments:

genius said...

i think it explain why i get smarter and famous after have a cup of beer.

Jamie said...

genius : u 4got 2 mention that the girls stick 2 u like supa glue after a few glasses of beer..

marsha said...

no wonder I am so damn smart these days lah! i better go wallop a jug now!