Monday, June 25, 2007

Training


Below is a sample Memo for training....maybe some company in question would like to use it as a reference since ISO says that ALL the employees have to undergo yearly improvement training. It is understood that most of the companies in question has an allocated budget for training right? Neways, read the below and enjoy cause anyone of us might be getting the Memo very soon..................
Memo to All Employess
The Management has decided that in order to ensure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T) .

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore because they are full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T , you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T) This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T) .

Sincerely,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

circular copy extended to:
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T).




Please enroll yourselves as soon as possible if you are interested ( I have had my fair share of S.H.I.T!!! )

Thank you for taking the time to read this Memo.....2 every1 his/her OWN

6 comments:

minyak angin cap kapak said...

bro,

congrats on 're-branding'of your site....

keep it UP(enis)!!

m.a.c.k.

Jamie said...

thanks mack....was actually getting bored of the old site...no ooomph to write liao....thats why the changes..hehehe. Thank again for visiting..appreciate it.

Jamie said...

thanks mack....was actually getting bored of the old site...no ooomph to write liao....thats why the changes..hehehe. Thank again for visiting..appreciate it.

genius said...

haha, i think i need to be shit(ed).

Jamie said...

genius : I tot you get "shit"ed on everyday woh...still not enough meh? still want some more ar?

anoy said...

i was employed by DUMBSHIT to work for BIGSHIT to handle HOTSHIT. But i get MORESHIT from BULLSHIT after EATSHIT. Now I am in DEEPSHIT, I don't any more SHIT.