Friday, June 15, 2007

Love, Marriage & Divorce

To all my married and unmarried friends ( faithful or unfaithful ), the below is for you guys/gals....................................

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms and into our home to be. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water....we had a kid.....I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy but the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Then came Dew into my life. It was a sunny day as I stood on a spacious balcony when Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, "you are the kind of man who best draw a girls' eyes"

Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife......

When we were just married, my wife said, "men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to women". Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife but I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said "Darling, is it possible that you go alone to select some furniture? I've got something urgent to do". Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At that particular moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner while I was sitting in front of the TV or I parking myself before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my daily home entertainment.

One day I said to her in a jokingly way, suppose we were to divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something impossible. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

Once when my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates..........I read some hurt in her eyes. Again, Dew said to me, Darling, divorce her, O.K.? Then we can live together........I nodded because I knew that I could not hesitate any more.

Later that night when the last dish was served, I held her hand and said "I've got something to tell you Dear"............. She sat down and ate quietly.....for that brief moment I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth but I had to let her know what I was thinking........I want a divorce. I raised the topic slowly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly........why? I avoided her question. This so-called action of mine made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage but I know couldn't give her a satisfactory answer because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. It ws then that I felt pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day........I could not have taken back what was said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a form of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be getting firmer and clearer. That particular night I caught her writing something but I pretended not to see and immediately got into bed. When I woke up, I found her sleeping at the table.....again I pretended not to see and turned over to continue my sleep.

In the morning, she brought up her divorce conditions:
- she didn't want anything from me,
- but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce,
- and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible.

Her reason was simple:
our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "Dear, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember.....

"You carried me in your arms", she continued, so, I have a requirement, which is :
You must carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now until the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning......I readily accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd..."No matter what tricks she has up her sleeves, she has to face the divorce!!", she said scornfully. Dew's words me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had not have any body contact since my divorce intentions were explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as strangers. So much so when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding Mummy in his arms"........his words brought me a sense of pain.

From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son"...... I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate side of my wife for a long, long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "the outside garden is being demolished...be careful when you pass there".

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her "It seems not that difficult to carry you now".

One day while I was waiting to carry her out, I saw her picking through her dresses........she tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger".........I could not do anything except smile. It was then that I realized why I could carry her easily....she was THINNER and not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt an awesome sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment yelling at the top of his voice........ "Daddy, it's time to carry mum out". To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. Her lighter weight made me sad.

When the last day of our agreement came, I hardly could move a step while I her her in my arms!!!! Our son had gone to school. It was then that she said, "On our wedding day I was actually hoping that you will hold me in your arms until we are old"...... I held her tightly and said, " both of us didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy". I profusely apologise while I left her behind, jumped in my car and sped off.

I knew where I was going, where I had to be. Reached my destination in record time, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door as I was afraid that any delay would make me change my decision. I ran upstairs towards Dew's apartment and knocked.

Dew opened the door.......I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce my wife".

She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead and said ..."You've got no fever Darling". I moved her hand off my head and repeated that I won't divorce my wife. My marriage life was boring probably because wifey and I didn't value the simple details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold and take care of them until I am old. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up...... gave me a hard slap, slammed the door and burst into tears.

I walked downstairs and drove to the office....stopped at the floral shop on the way, ordered a bouquet for my wife arranged with her favourite flowers. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.....

I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old"

Food for thought huh? 2 every1 his/her OWN.........................

4 comments:

wan.adrie said...

wow....Jamie Tan ka ni???

Jamie said...

wanny boy : alooo...of course the story is not about me la....just something plucked from sumwere.....hehehehe

genius said...

take me 3 days to read this blog. hey, next time can put a summary at the bottom of the blog ah, me very busy lah, can only spend 2 minute to read your blog only, other time need to entertain my boss back side and also hold their balls :p

Jamie said...

genius : summary..........fuck around till you drop before getting married........keep your cock in your pants AFTER marriage...hehhehehe