Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Of Myths and Truths ( part 1 )

Couldn't resist doing some research to facilitate this post which incidently is a spinoff from the previous one titled " Where Art Thou Thy Romeo". Below are seven Myths and Truths about "Women and extra marital affairs"....spare me the bashing because I promise to do another posting on men and extra marital affairs in due course ok? BTW, it just happens that my research "search" popped up with "women" first.

To my women readers ( Judy, Kat, Marsha, u-jean, etc ), please do not take any offence ok?

Myth #1: Sex is the primary reason wives pursue extramarital affairs.
Truth: Sex is usually not what motivates wives to have affairs. Often, sex is better at home. Some extramarital affairs do not actually involve much sex at all. More often, wives who take lovers are seeking empowerment, recognition, empathy, respect, and reciprocity from a partner and not just sex.

Myth #2: Wives who are having affairs break up old marriages and result in new marriages.
Truth: Rarely does a wife end up with her lover. More common is that her extramarital affair serves as a catalyst to work on the marriage and her role in it. If the husband is open to marital counseling, a marriage can end up stronger than before the wife’s affair.

Myth #3: Same-sex affairs don’t really count.
Truth: The act of infidelity pertains to the breaking of a trust, which is gender free. If you have to keep it hidden, chances are it’s a betrayal.

Myth #4: Husbands have more affairs than wives.
Truth: That was true for previous generations. But now that more women are working outside the home, the percentages are becoming more equal. More women are having extramarital affairs, and the gender gap on infidelity is closing.

Myth #5: It’s inescapable that, over time, sex and romance will fade in a marriage.
Truth: In marriage, there is always a danger of depending on one person for romance and love, which can unwittingly degrade romance. This is a common problem that underlies marital discontent but a preventable one. Couples who dare to, can learn to embrace ambiguity: both commitment and sexual desire, comfort and excitement, love and lust. Long-lasting romance and hot sex take work and practice.

Myth #6: Stay-at-home wives are less susceptible to the temptation of infidelity.
Truth: Women who choose to be moms and homemakers while their husbands go off to challenging work and fulfilling careers every day grapple with a number of issues that often lead to infidelity. Anger, resentment, and frustration at having lost their identity and autonomy are common emotional symptoms of the bored housewife who seeks excitement and empowerment from an extramarital affair.

Myth #7: Extramarital affairs are symptomatic mostly of younger women.
Truth: We used to associate affairs with young, restless wives. Not anymore. Older women are daring to have extramarital affairs in record numbers. More and more older women are also choosing younger lovers. By engaging is extramarital affairs, aging wives feel that they are defying the double discrimination of ageism and sexism.

Please feel free to visit the source at : http://www.nuvunow.ca/articles/selfhelp/affairs.html

2 every1 his/her OWN...........


marsha said...

I am going to challenge myth 1.

if I am going to have an extramarital affair, it'd BETTER be for sex mah!!! what lah, man!!! :-)

mua ha ha ha ha *imagining that I look like Angelina Jolie right now*

Judy said...

Are these your own facts and myths or you copied it from somewhere.

I know of women who had extramarital affair for whatever reasons (husband is not caring enough or insensitive). Not so much for sex. Some like Marsha prefer just for sex only and no thoughts of leaving husband. :P (I'm going to kena from Marsha liow)

As for me, I am a one man woman, so I don't even think of these things. Wahahaha........

As for men, I can't speak on their behalf but I do wonder why men are so easily tempted by women!

Jamie said...

marsha: HAHAHAHAHA...I share yr sentiments dear cuz....

Judy: I think I am qualified to speak on behalf of the men....generally its for SEX,SEX,SEX and SEX...other reasons are just pure bullshit!!!

and NO, I have too much SEX on the brain to come up with these facts and myths...I copied it from a site ( link below the post )

kat said...

Ohhhhh.. I thought you just copied the myths and debunked (or otherwise) them yourself.. What was I thinking?? Of course for men sex and analytical views are mutually exclusive!! LOL

I agree that all are myths except for #5 (that I agree with. It needs a lot of work to maintain a body that can fit into that tiny negligee, ok?!)

And #6, aitelyu when you've been a SAHM for years until it shows, it's even a turn-on when a well-dressed (stranger) gentleman pays you a compliment or gives you an appreciative glance-over!. LOL

There have been cases where couples go to parties and flirt with other people's partners, end up igniting their own passion for their own partner. But I think it's a case of playing with fire, don't you think? Never know when the feeling might turn reciprocal.

Jamie said...

For me it doesn't matter if one can fit into a tiny negligee or not cause its going to come off anyway..HAHAHAHA

I totally agree with you on item#6 cause I feel damn nice when young chicks give me a second glance and I try not to flirt for the fear that I might like the response...die wooooh